“I’m hers,” I tell him, “And I will always protect her.”
My hotel room is cold and quiet when I finally make it back there at midday. I had some other errands to run before I could get back and take a shower. The Farrow’s don’t take lightly tomissing work, so I had to make it look like I was still doing what they employ me to do. Plus, I wanted to get marks set up on Patrick to make sure he actually leaves.
To my surprise, he’s being transferred this very evening.
The marks will never leave him though, no matter where he goes but for now Vanessa is safe from him.
With a sigh, I hang my head.
I don’t understand how I miss you so much.
Those words were like icepicks, they stabbed me over and over. She shouldn’t miss me. But I understood. And I think that was the terrifying part in all of this.
We were two people who could never be together, for her safety, I would never allow it. And I was never going to know a day of peace because of it.
She shouldn’t have been able to capture me this much, but Vanessa owns my very being.
I’m hers.
It didn’t matter that we were apart and she has a life, I was hers. Even when she moves on, gets married, goes and has the happy life she deserves, I’ll still be hers.
I’m weak for her.
I curl my fingers into my palms at the same time my phone buzzes on the mattress next to me.
Ness: It would have been you.
I frown at the screen, itching to ask what she means, but she sends another text seconds later.
Ness: I haven’t given it to anyone. It never felt right because I wanted to give it to you. I still want to give it to you. It was always supposed to be yours.
Fuck.
I couldn’t. I couldn’t take it.
Ishouldn’ttake it.
My eyes burn with how hard I stare at the words on the screen and then like the weak, selfish man I am, I go to her.
Chapter Sixteen
The blue ticks signifying that he’s read the messages mock me. There are no dots to show he’s replying, no signals to say he’ll ever speak to me again and part of me wishes I never sent those messages, even though I meant every word.
I woke to an empty bed and a locked apartment, there was no proof that Kolt was ever here except for the band aid on my knee, and I felt more alone than I ever had before.
It likely would have been easier if I never saw him at all. It had been eighteen months since the last time, and sure, I was still pining, but I would have moved on eventually. Now it’ll be another year, maybe two.
God, I am pathetic.
He probably thinks the same thing. He’s older, he doesn’t want a college girl who doesn’t know when to take a hint.
I slept until eleven, showered after I realized I was alone and then fed Pumpkin who I had accidently locked out on the balcony last night. He was a very unhappy boy when I let him in, his loud angry meows still echoing through the apartment. He scoffed his food and is currently glaring at me from his perch on the chair by the window, his fluffy body bathed in sunlight.
“Yes, I know,” I roll my eyes at him, “I’m a terrible human for locking you outside.”
He just continues to stare.
“I said I was sorry; you’re being a bit of a dick about it now.”
