He willneverlet me go.
Nothing, not even the truth about his relationship with Cassandra, will change his mind when he’s obsessed with keeping me.
I start to shiver, but look at Sin.
“Can you remove it?” I ask, my voice sounding smaller and more defeated than I’ve ever heard it.
Sin nods but says nothing.
He invades my personal bubble again, his body providing some welcome heat.
“Fight back, kitten,” he whispers, just as his tattoos glow red and his hand wraps around my neck.
Chapter 15
Rule fifteen:Death is a siren’s song, and you mustn’t listen.
I’m empty.
There’s nothing left.
The setting sun casts shadows in my room, and I watch them creep further across the floor from where I’m curled up on the bed.
There’s a knock at the door, but I don’t move. Instead, I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. I can’t speak. There are no words left inside of me.
The door creaks open, but no one enters. Damien’s whisper reaches me, “I told you she was probably sleeping. The poor girl has been living in the Mortal Realm for her whole life. Fighting like that without proper conditioning is dangerous.”
“Maybe we should wake her,” another voice responds, soft and bird-like – Rosie. “At least fordinner. Sin was hard on her. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“She will decide if she wants to be around friendly faces or not,” Magnus’ voice now, and he sounds suspicious.
I wonder if his power is telling him I’m awake. Or if maybe he has some other snake shifter powers I don’t know about. Either way, I think sleepy thoughts, focusing on keeping my breathing even.
“Let’s leave her alone. I’m sure she knows she doesn’t have to be alone,” Magnus continues, and the door shuts a moment later.
The room is quiet again, giving me the freedom to open my eyes and return to my important evening plans.
I hold my breath, waiting to see how long I can go before my vision blackens.
Two minutes, twenty-three seconds. That’s ten seconds less than when I started.
I’ve been at it since I left Sin in the arena, and I haven’t bothered to move from my spot on the bed.
The depressive haze that I’ve been trying to dodge finally has its teeth in me.
Sin told me to fight back, but that’s the problem. I have been fighting. Every day, every fucking breath is a fight to make sure the dark thoughts don’t take hold of me again.
But I didn’t fight hard enough. Something threw me over the edge.
I can’t pinpoint what exactly did it, but I’m thinking it might have something to do with the repeated crushing realizations that I’ve been bound to amonster who will never let me go. Or maybe my general guilt and repressed trauma finally caught up with me.
At least I’m not crumbling under the weight of the haze. I’m not angry or sad. I just can’t feel anything at all.
The world moves around me as if I’m watching it from a window.
Dissociation.
It happened a few times shortly after I survived the attack from my classmates.
