“It used to, until the last couple of weeks. It’s gotten more difficult to close the boxes and keep them shut. It’s almost like they’ve cracked, and I can’t hide the emotions away anymore.” I chew on my lip, considering how much more I want to share, until I realize where he’s going with this. “I – I think it happened every time I used my other energy. It’s not just that I was angry. I was feeling everything.”
Sin nods at my admission. “Well, I have some bad news.” He’s smirking like he’s about to annoy the hell out of me.
My heart thumps, and I try to ignore how my body responds to his devilish grin. “What now?” My voice is laced with suspicion.
Sin’s smirk turns into a full smile. “We have a new tactic to try and get your power to come to the surface.”
I frown at him. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“You said your power came out when you finally let yourself feel strong emotions,” Sin starts.
I don’t like where this is going.
“So, it’s time to stop repressing those feelings, kitten. You’re going to let yourself feel everything,” Sin finishes, sounding far too pleased with himself.
I blanch.
“Absolutely not,” I snap.
That is the opposite of a good idea. Repressing my emotions is the only way I function most days. I can’t afford to fall apart now.
“Hey, it’s okay. We don’t need to dive into your past or anything you’re not comfortable with. Let’s start by honestly letting yourself feel your emotions as they arise through the day. Not just the bad, but all of them,” Sin notes, speaking to me like I might bolt at any moment.
I can’t fault him for those solid observation skills.
Dark circles start to line the edges of my vision, and my body starts to stiffen. The thought of feeling everything is enough to bring on the threat of a panic attack.
My realm. My home. My friends.
I repeat the mantra, reminding myself what I have to lose if we aren’t successful.
My power can help win this war.
“Okay,” I answer, swallowing.
I can do this. Feelings aren’t scary.
This is totally okay. (It’s not okay).
“When I ask you what you’re feeling, be honest. It will help you keep track of whether you’re being honest with yourself,” Sin adds, barely containing his smile.
Of course, he’s going to enjoy this.
My cheeks flush further, and I wonder if mortification is a legitimate cause of death. “You’re using this as an excuse to make me talk about my feelings,” I accuse.
Sin arches a brow. “Magic is tied to emotions. If you’re not letting yourself feel your emotions, then how can you use it? This is a solid avenue forward.” He pauses long enough to give me a devastatingly wicked smile. “You discussing your feelings happens to be a very desirable bonus.”
I cross my arms. “Can’t I talk to Arianna or Rosie? Hell, I’ll even talk to Morgana instead of you.”
Sin shakes his head slowly before purring, “It has to be me. I’m the one who can nullify your power if it gets out of control.”
I grit my teeth at his logical answer.
Damn him.
“Fine. How are we doing this? Do we just go about our usual training, and you play therapist, asking about my feelings?” I grit out.
“It’s onlyusualtraining if you keep losing,” he teases.
