He stumbled slightly, just enough to kick a puff of red dust from the path.
‘Yeah,’ he muttered.‘That was a lesson in being someone I’m not.’
‘What happened?’
He huffed.‘Nothing.’
‘Excuse me?Surely something must have happened?’
‘Nope.Nothing.We didn’t even get physical, not even a kiss.’Not like he’d done with Amara.
‘But… you fell for her, didn’t you?To get so hurt and nearly lose your job over her.’
‘I made a damned fool of myself over her, is what I did.’The anger made him walk harder.Each step steady and sure, even with that damned monkey on his back—and he wasn’t talking about Amara either—it was Tess and all she’d represented.
‘How?Go on, I told you.Your turn.How did you make a fool of yourself?’
‘You know how you dressed, spoke, and even agreed to marry that guy, because of following other people’s rules?’
‘Were you the same?’
‘Kind of.You see, I thought Tess was the one for me.I wanted it all.You know, the family, the house with the lawn you mowed on weekends, the white picket fence, all that crap they force-feed down your throat.’
‘You no longer want that?’Her voice was quiet—surprised, maybe even a little hurt—it was enough to make him hesitate.
Only for a moment.
His scowl returned, with his eyes fixed on the skinny wallaby track cutting through the scrub towards the waterhole.The heat of his past, the shame and failure, lapped at him like sunburn.‘I was a fool.’
The bitingly sharp words echoed back.A cruel reminder to never get involved.
‘What did you do?’she asked softly.
‘I tried to change for her…’
‘Rule number five of the Not-to-Love List: No one who wants me to change.If he doesn’t like me the way I am, he’s not the one.’
‘I approve of that rule.’Now he understood why she had it—her family, her ex, all of it.
‘What did you do for Tess?’
‘Shaved my beard.Quit smoking.Stopped fishing—she wasn’t a fan.’He huffed.
‘I don’t like fishing either,’ she muttered.‘And smoking’s bad for you anyway.’
‘I know that.But I even read her favourite romance novels, so we’d have something to talk about.’Porter gave his head a slow shake.‘Deadset, they were boring.Felt like I was trapped in some horror movie spin-off of high school English class.You know, the kind where you search for the movie just so you don’t have to read the book.’
Amara giggled.
Sweetest damn sound he’d heard all night—even if it came wrapped in a little Montrose smugness.
‘Glad one of us is entertained,’ he muttered, adjusting his grip as her weight bit into his arms.‘Here I am, baring my soul like some daytime talk show guest, and you’re laughing at me.’
‘Sorry… but, please, do go on.’
He blew out a breath, wishing he’d kept his mouth shut.But fair’s fair—she’d spilled, so it was his turn to rip off the bandage.
‘I gave up everything I liked for Tess.Swapped hunting trips for bloody brunch dates with foods I couldn’t pronounce, wearing clothes I didn’t like, and wasting weekends sorting through her never-ending pile of mail at the post office.’His jaw tightened.‘And I hated it.Every second of it.Because it wasn’t me.’
