Much better.
My heart rate slows, the anxiety fading, and I decide to change into my leggings and shirt, preparing myself for bed. When I’m finished, I grab my toiletry bag and head to the bathroom.
I take a moment to admire the space as I get ready, brushing my teeth. It’s cute. The shower curtain has little duckies on it, and Lio’s toothbrush is blue with a purple kraken on the end. While the rest of the house lacks any form of decoration, this bathroom is overflowing with adorable children’s stuff, and I can’t help but wonder how Lio’s room looks.
When I finish, I return to the hallway, briefly glancing at the other rooms before entering the guest room and closing the door behind me. Of course, as I set down the toiletry bag on the desk, it falls over, spilling its contents on the floor.
Just perfect.
Saylor’s gold necklace falls out, and I pick it up to examine it. It’s so pretty. Turning it, I read his name and birthday again, running my thumb over it, feeling a tingle in my chest.
You can’t have feelings for a ghost, Sloan. Where would that lead?
Only more pain for both of us.
Or getting pegged as crazy even more easily.
But when I have to live this life alone anyway, why can’t I keep him?
Because it wouldn’t be right.
My heart aches as I place the necklace back in the bag. I don’t even know him. I just like him.More than like him. He’s there for me. He gets me. But maybe it’s only because he has nowhere else to go, and I don’t have to hide from him.
No, that’s unfair.
My thoughts drift to his room. It’s only a few doors down from mine, and curiosity gets the best of me. I step out of the guest room and peer down the dimly lit hallway again. The closed doors of the other rooms line the corridor, and it’s still silent.
I walk down the hall on my toes, my ears straining to catch any sounds that might indicate someone’s awake or approaching. So far, so good.
As I approach the second-to-last door, the one Saylor said was his, I hesitate for a moment. Then, I push it open slowly and slip inside, closing the door behind me as gently as possible.
The room is a haunting snapshot frozen in time, and to my surprise, Saylor is standing in the middle of it. He gazes sadlyat the landscape photographs adorning the walls, capturing the Milky Way over Lubec’s lighthouse and the sea. There’s a boombox from the eighties, its shiny chrome and colorful buttons standing out amidst the otherwise modern decor. Several cassette tapes are scattered in front of it. His bed is neatly made, the camera and tripod on his desk seem ready for action, and a black hoodie is casually draped over the back of the desk chair as though he had just left his room for a day at work.
Everything appears to be in its place, waiting patiently for Saylor’s return.
My heart aches as I take in the sight before me, realizing nobody must have touched his things for years except for dusting them. It becomes clear how big of a hole he left in this family.
“I try to remember the last time I felt… anything, honestly,” Saylor muses, his voice carrying a mixture of nostalgia and sorrow. He turns to me, and I take a few steps to stand in front of him. “Before you came, there was nothing left for me, and still, I just existed. There are no friends or family in the afterlife, only watching the ones you love live on without you.” His gaze darts around the room again.
My heart breaks for him, and I want to reach out and pull him into a hug, but I can’t. There are so many things I want to do and can’t.
But what I can do is keep him as long as possible.
As long as he stays, as long as there is no light for him, I’m going to be selfish.
For me.
For him.
We both need someone in this. We both deserve not to be left behind.
We’re both lost in this world, just on different layers.
I move even closer, my own emotions swirling inside as I watch his eyes well up. “You make me laugh,” I tell him softly. “Even with your bad pickup lines. We make each other feel alive and less lonely. Doesn’t that make us friends?”
Saylor turns to me, his translucent eyes meeting mine. There’s a hint of a smile on his lips as he nods. “Yes, Slo, I suppose it does.”
“Can I keep you?” I ask, my soft voice cracking with emotion as my eyes well up too.
