The weight of my secrets feels heavy in the room, pressing down on me with a physical force.
“I know that look,” Saylor says, his voice low, pulling me back from my thoughts. “Stop overthinking. You’re safe here.”
“Sometimes, I feel like the past is a shadow, waiting to swallow me whole if I step wrong,” I confess, my voice a mere wisp of sound.
Saylor’s smile is sympathetic, but his eyes are full of understanding. “You’resafehere with Hunter and the guys, Boo.”
Saylor’s trying to soothe me, but it just makes a storm of feelings whirl up inside. It feels weird being in this safe, warm place after everything. The way Hunter made sure I was okay, how Nash just took me in, North’s indifference, being in their home like that—it’s a lot to take in. It’s like I’m on the edge withall my old troubles just a step behind me, and everything in front of me is new and unknown.
I’m not used to people caring, and it’s hard to trust that it is real, that it might actually be okay to let my guard down.
I’m trying to let myself feel safe, to take in the kindness without expecting something bad to happen next. And as I start to fall asleep, I think that perhaps it’s okay to be here, just for tonight.
TWENTY-EIGHT
Her chest risesand falls at a low, unhurried pace. Her lips and cheeks are rosy again and oh-so kissable.
I love watching her sleep.
She has a birthmark in the middle of her left cheek, the exact placement and size as mine, but mine is on my right cheek.
I reach out to touch it with my fingertip, stopping just millimeters before making contact, yet I feel a soft tingle.
What the fuck?
I haven’t felt anything I have touched in years. But before I can mull it over, Sloan stirs, opening her eyes. She rubs them before yawning adorably and rolls over to find me lying beside her.
She gives me the most beautiful, sleepy smile, and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest.
“Morning, Casper,” she whispers.
“Good morning, Boo,” I tell her, my gaze softening.
Waking up beside her, or better yet, having her wake up beside me, is a heady feeling. It makes me think of scenarios where she could have been mine. Where we could have had this every morning after falling asleep, cuddling.
If I hadn’t been dumb enough to die before I met her.
“How did you sleep?” I ask while she sits up straight and stretches her arms over her chest, making her thin white top rise and giving me a view of her stomach.
“Good, it was warm.” She smiles again before getting off the bed, making me sit up too. “I’m going to use this opportunity and take a shower. Do you think you’ll still be here after?” She gives me a concerned glance as she grabs her bag from the floor.
Over the last few days, she has stopped talking about wanting me to find peace and started looking out for me, wanting to have me around.
Maybe she feels the same.
Maybe Icankeep her.
I shake my head, trying badly not to obsess over something that can’t be, but it’s hard. “I don’t feel any pull yet, so I think I will be.” I grin, and she gives me a relieved smile before rushing out the door.
I lay back down, thinking about how I’m here and with her, the longest I’ve ever been without being pulled away. I don’t know if that’s a good sign, but I enjoy the heck out of it, being able to stay right where I want to be.
Feeling more alive than in years.
After maybe ten minutes, she returns to the room, sets her bag down, and goes to the mirror next to the dresser. She starts to braid her hair into those cute braids she always wears for work, already dressed in blue overalls, but once again, she’s wearing Nash’s hoodie. A twinge of jealousy courses through me.
She should wear one of mine.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” she whispers to me when she’s done, grabbing her bag, pillow, and blanket and leaving the room. We’re making our way through the house toward the exit when Hunter’s voice comes from the kitchen.
