She lets out a laugh, and my heart beats faster.
She laughed because of me.
Every time I watch her when she’s not actively talking with me or anyone, she looks pained, like she’s suffering, only holding it back in front of people, putting on a mask. A genuine laugh is rare with her.
“If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet potato,” she counters with a mischievous glint in her eyes, and I nearly fall backward from the pure joy that she’s playing along, laughing hard.
“Of course, you’d call me a potato.” I chuckle, taking a step closer to her.
“Hey, I said sweet potato, that’s much better.” She shrugs, pulling on her hair tie to fasten her ponytail, her delicate neck looking so inviting.
What I would do to kiss her there.
“It’s not.” I huff out a laugh. “That is the least flattering compliment ever.”
“But it’s a compliment.” She points her finger at my nose, and I’m just about to lean in and bite it when I remember I can’t.
Fuck me, I hate being dead.
She shivers, putting her arms around herself and stroking her upper arms. “Why is it so damn cold? It’s September, for fuck’s sake.”
“Welcome to Lubec. It’s not usual, but snow in September is also not impossible. And it looks like this fall is going to be a cold one.”
“Just perfect,” she mutters, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.
“Come on, let’s get you inside,” I urge, nodding toward the van.
She lets out a sarcastic snort. “Sure, but that’s not gonna help the matter,” she mumbles while opening the side door to the van and getting in.
I’m confused until I don’t hear the hum of the heater that was always so loud, and I see how the windows of the van are all white from the moisture that froze on them.
“What happened?” I ask, frowning at her.
“Van-essa is trying to kill me. And since I haven’t driven her anywhere so she could spontaneously go up in flames, she decided freezing me to death would be a good alternative.” I give her my bestdon’t fuck with melook, then she takes a deepbreath and lets her shoulders fall. “The heater gave out. Seems like there was a short circuit, and the cables burned.”
“Fuck, that shit could have caught the whole thing on fire.” I stare at her with wide eyes, but she just shrugs, looking down at her feet as if that wouldn’t be the worst that could happen.
Nope, not going to slide.
“Why don’t you sleep in the restaurant for a while? I bet you could get that mattress in there and make yourself at home in the kitchen or the bathrooms.”
She lets out a forced laugh. “Not going to happen. Tally is already doing enough for me. And I don’t think having homeless people staying in the restaurant overnight would fly with the health department.”
“Okay, I see your point. Then we need a new heater,” I muse, thinking about where we could buy one around here.
Now she laughs for real. “Sure, are you going to buy it for me? Because I think I have around fifty dollars left, and a heater would be at least three hundred, maybe half if I find a used one.”
I feel a pang of guilt. We never had to think twice about money. I mean, sure, our parents taught us to be responsible with it and not buy unnecessary shit, but if I wanted or needed something, we just went and bought it. “Okay,” I start, not quite sure how to ask this. “So, what’s the plan? What do we do?”
“Iam going to wash up over the sink, and then I’m going to work for Satan, also known as your brother, to maybe earn some money if he doesn’t fire me before that can happen,” she declares while grabbing some clothes and her toiletry bag.
I follow her out of the van and through the restaurant’s back door, but when we enter the women’s restroom, I stand with my face to the wall, giving her some sort of privacy. I’m thinking hard about whether I have some money lying around anywhere.
Maybe in my old room at our house?
My parents couldn’t bring themselves to get rid of my stuff, and neither could the guys. Hunter goes in there from time to time, dusting off my photographs and stuff before just sitting on the edge of my bed, looking around, and breathing deeply. I’m always there when he does, sitting beside him and laying a hand on his shoulder. But I don’t think he has ever noticed anything.
I miss him just as much, even when I’m the one who can still see him.
