“Nope, you share your birthday with Thundercunt.” I grin from ear to ear.
“Oh, just perfect,” she mutters, letting the necklace slip back into her jeans pocket. “Okay…” she lets out a breath, “… I’ll keep it. Thank you. That means we’ve dealt with your unfinished business. Do you see the light?”
I take her in. The setting sun at her back illuminates her blonde hair like a halo around her.
I don’t think she’s talking about herself, though.
“Nope, no light.”
“So it’s not the necklace that is keeping you here,” she muses, taking a few more steps.
“Doesn’t seem like it.” I shrug, falling into step beside her. “How are you feeling, Slo?” I ask her, my tone gentle. “After… everything this morning?”
“Well, I was pretty shaken, so I decided to take it easy today, but after that little breather here, I think I’m okay,” she tells me, but her gaze stays on her feet.
“Glad to hear.”
FOURTEEN
The room is silent,except for the sound of my own ragged breathing. The weight of the darkness feels almost unbearable. I try to find some semblance of calm, keeping myself occupied by imagining disassembling and reassembling a car motor. But the fear is always present, lurking just beneath the surface, ready to send me into a full-blown panic attack when I let my control slip.
Suddenly, there’s a flicker of light so brief that I think I’ve imagined it. But then it happens again and again, with the room flashing between blinding brightness and darkness. Each time the light comes on, it feels like a physical blow, searing my eyes and leaving me disoriented. When it goes off, the darkness feels even more suffocating than before, the contrast making it all the more terrifying.
The nurses’ voices filter in from outside the door, through the hatch they can open and peer through. “Look at her,” one of them remarks. “Like a scared little rat. Afraid of light.”
It’s like I’m being torn apart. The constant switching between light and darkness pushes me to the brink of insanity.
Why are they doing this to me?
What have I done to deserve this?
Tears stream down my face. The restraints on my wrists and ankles keep me from turning around or putting an arm over my eyes, so I press them shut, but the bright light still penetrates somewhat after all the time in the dark. There’s no escaping it, no getting away from the flashing behind my lids.
“Please, just make it stop,” I beg silently.
Just when I think I can’t take it any longer, when the darkness and light have merged into an indistinguishable blur, when I feel so sick I could puke, even though they barely feed me, the hatch slams shut, plunging the room into darkness and silence once more.
My heart is poundingin my chest, jolting me awake, my body drenched in sweat. I gasp for air, disoriented and trembling. But the nightmare doesn’t end. It bleeds into reality.
The fairy lights in my van always switch on as soon as darkness creeps into my home on wheels. Now, they flicker wildly, casting chaotic, dancing shadows across the interior. Panic has its grip on me like a vice, and I can’t escape the feeling of being trapped, of reliving that nightmare all over again.
I try to push away the remnants of the dream, but it clings to me like a second skin. My trembling hands fumble around as I desperately search for control, something to ground me. The flickering lights are relentless, echoing the horrors of the clinic.
Then, like a lifeline thrown to a drowning soul, Saylor’s voice cuts through the haze. His words are a distant murmur at first, but they become clearer as I focus on his presence.
Finally able to form a cohesive thought, I lean over and slam my fist against the wall of the van where the electrical wiring is hidden. The impact reverberates through the small space, and the flickering lights are silenced. The van is plunged intodarkness for a brief moment, making me hold my breath. Then, with a reassuring hum, the lights come back on.
I exhale shakily, and Saylor’s voice is now a soothing balm, reminding me I’m not alone.
I’m safe.
“Fuck, that shit was scary. Are you okay, Slo?”
I take a moment to gather myself, my breathing gradually steadying. “I will be.”
“Bad dream? What was with the lights? Got some more superpowers you’re hiding from me?” he asks, trying to joke, but I can see the concern for me in his eyes.
“Nope, just a damn old van that seems to give out under my ass.” I sigh, still unable to stop the trembling. I lay back down, my gaze focused on the fairy lights. The radio quietly hums in the background, helping to bring me back into the present.
