The spirits of pets don’t normally linger, so I don’t encounter them often. Animals are much more in tune with life and death. They know they have their time, and when it comes, they go easily. But sometimes, they visit their loved ones. And it’s always such a joy to witness. I can’t talk to them, of course, but they communicate with me through feelings and images.
Everyone falls silent as I continue searching the floor, and North’s gentle squeeze on my waist brings me back. “You all right?”
Looking toward the couch, I see a golden retriever next to Helen. Its loving gaze fixed on her head, resting on her lap.
“Bella,” Shannon whispers from behind the couch, her smile softening as she gazes at the dog. “She was Helen’s everything.”
I already decided that I won’t cower and hide anymore. Nan was right. My purpose is this, right here. And those around mearen’t just people. They aremypeople. Let’s hope Helen and Rupert are ready to receive this.
“Yes, I’m fine, sorry. We just got a visitor,” I announce, smiling at Helen. Beside me, North tenses up.
“A visitor?” Tally asks, perking up. “Please tell me it’s a pleasant one.”
Bella, still gazing at Helen, wags her tail. “A very pleasant one,” I assure her. “Bella’s here.”
Helen gasps, her eyes brimming with tears instantaneously, reflecting her deep bond with Bella. “She’s here?”
“Sitting next to you, her head is on your lap,” I explain, another surge of love engulfing me, almost bringing tears to my eyes. “She loves you so much,” I share, my voice trembling with emotion.
Helen bursts into tears, and Rupert wraps an arm around her, comforting her as she whispers, “I love her so much too.”
“She knows…” I reassure her, “… and she’s so thankful to you.”
Bella gazes at me, and suddenly, I feel a tightening in my chest, a brief struggle to breathe, then relief. Understanding her message, I relay it. “She wants you to know that she can breathe again.” Helen’s sob is heart-wrenching, and a flood of images and feelings from Bella overwhelms me. “She was fine, and then suddenly she couldn’t breathe. It happened so fast. You got the diagnosis, and before you could act, she was gone.”
Helen, tears cascading down her cheeks, nods. “I would have done anything, but there was no time.”
“She knows, and she’s sorry she had to leave. But now, she’s more than fine, feeling like a puppy again.” Bella stands, her tail wagging with renewed vigor. “You have some of her fur in a box on your nightstand,” I continue, echoing what Bella shared with me.
“Wow,” Rupert whispers, his eyes wide with awe as he looks at me.
“And you have a necklace with her name on it,” I add. Helen pulls a gold necklace out from under her sweater, displaying a little paw. “She wants you to know that she’s aware of it, that she still feels your love, and that you’re loved just as much from the other side.”
A stray tear streams down my cheek now. too, all the love radiating from Bella just too much to keep in. North steps behind me, pulling me back into his chest, lending me strength. I never had that during a reading, never had somebody standing up for me, supportingmewhile I do what I’m doing. And it’s an amazing feeling.
Bella positions herself in front of Helen, resting her head on her knees.
“She has her head on your knees now, Helen. I think she wants a pet,” I manage to say, my voice choked with emotion. Helen reaches out instinctively, her hand finding the exact spot to caress Bella’s head. Bella shows me how they always did this, how Bella would sit in front of her and demand pets. No wonder Helen knows where to reach. It’s muscle memory at this point.
“I love you so much. You were the bestest girl, and I miss you every day.” Helen’s voice is a fragile whisper laden with longing.
“She misses you more,” I respond, my voice breaking. “She will be the first in line to wait for you in the light when the time comes to reunite.” North’s thumb soothingly strokes my side, his presence a comforting anchor.
“Thank you, Sloan. This means so much,” Helen acknowledges through tears, continuing to stroke where Bella’s head would be. Then, with a final wave of love, Bella’s presence fades.
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, grounding myself. “She’s gone,” I whisper.
North leans down to kiss my temple, whispering in my ear, “I’m so damn proud of you.”
This is the first reading in over a year that was done with love and not a pinch of fear or hurt.
I’m proud of myself too.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Northand I return to the house to retrieve the last of the boxes. When they’re all packed up and secure in the car, North stands, scratching his neck, looking unsure.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, a little concerned about what made his mood change from sweet and caring to somewhat nervous. “We can still take the van?—”
