Her understanding, so genuine and heartfelt, chips away at the fortress of guilt I’ve built around myself. “It’s been hard to see a future when the past keeps pulling me back.”
She reaches up, tenderly stroking my cheek. “But you’re here now, with me. You’re moving forward. You’re where you belong as much as I am.”
And then it slips out, the fear that has lingered in the back of my mind since I fucked up and realized I was so fucking wrong. The fear that creeps up every time I see her running. “I’m scared, Blue. Scared of losing you too.”
“But you have me,” she assures, her voice a soothing balm. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I pull her even closer to me, kissing her temple.
I need this to be the truth so badly.
She’s my lifeline, the one who pulled me out of my dark hole, and I don’t know what would happen if I were pushed back into it a third time.
I don’t think I would survive it.
But that’s not true,is it? Because she’s not the only thing keeping me in the light.
Being there for Lio overshines everything.
I would fight for him because I would never let him face life alone again.
I promised it to him and myself.
Let’s just hope Sloan doesn’t make me test that vow.
As we hold each other, I realize this is what healing feels like. It’s slow, it’s painful, but it’s also hopeful.
THIRTY-SIX
Nash,Hunter, and Lio are already at Tally and Tim’s house, helping with the last of the renovations since it’s Saturday, and they all have the day off. Tally can’t do much anymore since she’s already past her due date and should sit around all day, so the guys decided to lend Tim a hand, ensuring the house is ready for the baby.
North and I are loading his precious BMW with boxes of Lio’s old baby stuff to bring to them when I decide to push my luck.
“Can I drive?” I ask, my eyes hopeful.
It’s not a long drive, maybe two minutes, but I have to start small, right?
North’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline in surprise while his breath hitches.
Oh my God, this is priceless.
“Suuure,” he agrees slowly but doesn’t make any move or head toward the passenger side.
“You’d let me drive your car?” I ask again, grinning like a dork.
He fucking hates this.
“It would be yours if you’d taken it when I offered.” He sighs, but it’s obvious he’s definitely not keen on letting anyone else drive this beauty.
“I’m a good driver. I won’t make any dents in it,” I tell him confidently, knowing very well that it won’t do shit to reassure him.
“I fucking hope so for you, or I’m gonna spank your ass until you can’t sit anymore,” he mutters, making me laugh. “All right, just… be gentle with her,” he relents, finally stepping aside to give me access to the driver’s seat.
Sliding in, the leather’s luxurious feel and the scent of the car’s interior hit me. “Don’t worry, I’ll treat her like a queen,” I promise, adjusting the rearview mirror.
North sits in the passenger seat, looking slightly tense but trying to hide it. “Just remember, she’s more sensitive than she looks. And watch the mirrors when you park.”
I start the engine, the purr of it sending a thrill through me. “Relax, North. It’s just a car.”
