Please tell me what to do.
“Every soul has a purpose. Every soul on Earth has a reason to be here. Some purposes are small, some are grand, but everyone has one. Maybe Saylor hasn’t fulfilled his purpose in this world yet,” she suggests gently. “Perhaps he can’t move on until he does.”
No, because that would mean he would die after that anyway, and that’s not the answer I wanted to hear.
I want to hear how I can save him.
“What if his purpose is to live a long, happy life with me?” I ask desperately, clinging to the slimmest hope, but she looks at me sadly.
Well, that’s a big fat no.
“Don’t be afraid of him leaving you. Stepping into the light is a beautiful thing, and he will wait for you there. It’s much better than being in the in-between, in limbo. You know that.”
I do, but I don’t want that.
But that’s selfish,isn’t it?
“And how is he supposed to fulfill his purpose in this state?” I ask, frustration and desperation tightening my chest. “He’s in a coma, Nan. There’s no way he can fulfill anything like this, even if he wanted to.”
“How do you fulfill your purpose? Nobody knows. That’s the beauty of life, of things unknown.”
“You’re so not helpful. You sound like a fortune cookie,” I tell her, half-jokingly, half in earnest, making her chuckle.
“Oh, Sloany, there’s so much more ahead for you. Beautiful moments, painful challenges that will try to break you. But you will push through it all. You’re strong and determined. You’re one of the lucky few who know their purpose. Don’t lose sightof that because you’re afraid. You’re meant to do so much more than cower and hide. You were born to shine.”
“Nan—” I start to say, but she interrupts me.
“You have a gift, Sloany. Helping others is our calling. If you live the life meant for you, with the people fate has brought into your life, everything will be all right. I’m so proud of you. The last year was hard, and you made it through all on your own. I’m still so glad you don’t have to anymore. Stop worrying and wanting to run. You’re on the right path.”
I nod slowly, absorbing her words. I’ve let fear hold me back.
Not anymore.
She’s fading. Our time is up, and it’s like I am losing her all over again. But this time, I’m going to be strong like she wants me to be.
“Thank you for showing up.” I try to put in words how thankful I am, my voice choked with tears, but there is nothing I can say to let her know.
“I’m only a whisper away, even if it takes me a while to get here. I always hear you.”
“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” I reply, feeling sheepish now.
She chuckles softly. “I love you, Sloany.”
“I love you more,” I whisper back, watching as her presence fades, leaving me in the quiet of my van.
I take a deep breath once more before I get in the driver’s seat, buckle up, and start the engine. Driving back to the Jones’ house,my house, a little bit of excitement seeps back into my heart.
I’m driving home to where I’m supposed to be.
As I pull into the driveway, my gaze instinctively finds North, who stands in the doorway with a relaxed ease, leaning against the frame, his arms folded. Despite his casual stance, a crease of concern furrows his brow. Clutching my bag, filled withessentials for the night I had packed earlier, I glance around the van and murmur softly, “Thank you, old girl.”
North’s voice, tinged with a subtle note of anxiety, breaks the silence as I step out and approach him. “You okay?” he inquires. “You were gone a while.”
I offer a half-teasing, half-serious retort, “What? Thought I’d run off and not come back?”
He shakes his head, a sincere softness in his voice. “No, you promised, and I’m holding onto the hope that our promises mean something now,” he responds.
Nodding, I admit, “I’ll just need my bag for tonight. I’m gonna bring the rest in tomorrow. I’m just too drained right now.”
