He’s right.
But it feels too good, too much like what I want, too much like a good life.
I’ve let this go way too far.
“And what if they just drop me again? Because they will, I know it. One wrong move, one thing they don’t like, and they will drop me again,” I yell at him.
“Stop fucking spiraling! It’s not going to happen. They will not do that again, and you know it,” Saylor yells right back. “You’re so fucking frustrating, Slo!”
His words sting, amplifying the doubts and fears swirling inside me. I turn away, intending to escape the conversation, the confrontation,the truth.
“Sloan, for fuck’s sake, stop running away!” Saylor’s voice follows me, laced with desperation.
I whirl back to face him, tears blurring my vision as I stretch out my arms and shout, “There’s no one here to fucking stop me!”
It’s a low blow, but instead of displaying hurt, a smile plays on Saylor’s lips.
Suddenly, arms encircle my waist from behind, startling me and pulling me into a firm, warm chest. The familiar scent of spices fills my senses.
“I’mhere, Blue,” whispers a deep, comforting voice into my hair.
North.
I don’t know why, but him being here, coming after me, not leaving me to drown on my own, it meanssomuch. He releases me, gently turning me by my shoulder to look into my eyes. A sob escapes me, and I throw my arms around his neck, surprising him with the move while my tears flow freely.
“Shh... I’ve got you,” he assures soothingly, bending down to lift me effortlessly. My legs wrap around his waist as I cling to him.
North carries me to one of the nearby benches and sits with me still in his embrace, straddling him, clinging to his neck as my tears continue to flow. He strokes my hair soothingly.
“It’s all my fault,” North confesses, his voice heavy with remorse. “I’m so sorry. They would have never treated you like this if it weren’t for me. I kept Nash away from you when all he wanted was to run to your side. Hunter wouldn’t have turned on you if I hadn’t persuaded him. I swear, Sloan, this will never happen again. I know words don’t mean much, but I promise that was the last time I did anything that wasn’t about keeping you safe.Keeping you. If you run, I’ll run after you. If you leave, I’ll follow and bring you back because this is where you belong. This is your home. And if you leave, it’ll leave as big of a void as when Saylor left.” Hearing North’s words, I feel a brief moment of relief, yet it’s tinged with sadness. “Sorry, brother, for not believing you were there,” North whispers, acknowledging Saylor.
“It’s fine, Thundercunt,” Saylor responds, his voice carrying a note of amusement.
“He says it’s fine, Thundercunt,” I mumble into North’s neck, and a faint chuckle escapes him, vibrating under me.
“I’d love to talk to you some more, but it sounds like we need to calm our girl down first,” North answers, his tone light but caring.
Our girl?
“Sure, give it a try if you think you can do any better,” Saylor replies, a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but a softness is there too.
I nod against North’s neck as he continues to stroke my head, his presence and reassurance slowly helping to anchor me back.
“What triggered your panic so early in the morning?” North’s voice is soft, his lips pressing a gentle kiss into my hair.
“Just a nightmare,” I murmur, a shiver passing through me at the memory of that nightmare and the drowning.
“Was it about the institution?” he inquires, his tone carefully neutral.
“No, it was about…” I begin, hesitating as I grapple with how to explain it.
“Our fuckup, right? Makes sense why you’d run from Hunter’s bed to nowhere,” he says, nodding. His voice carries an emotion I can’t quite discern.
I lean back slightly to take in our surroundings. “Wherearewe?”
Saylor chuckles lightly. “You really are something, you know that?”
“The Lost Fishermen’s Memorial,” North informs me, and I turn to see the stone sculpture nearby.
