Nash’s voice follows, laced with frustration. “I don’t know, man. She’s in there, spiraling, overthinking everything. That’s not good for her or us.”
Hunter sounds agitated. “So ambushing her is the better option?”
Nash exhales, a sound of exasperation. “I don’t know, Hunt. I’m open to suggestions, but since you have none, let’s just knock and find out.”
I can’t fucking lie to myself anymore. I want them all. I just proved it to myself, fantasizing about all of them at the same time. I’m probably running toward a wall, head first, since this is bound to end in a catastrophe, but it’s so exhausting keeping them out when all I want is tolet them in.
So I do.
I stand, pushing the sliding door open. Nash and Hunter stand there, Nash’s hand raised as if to knock. “You guys know a van isn’t soundproof, right?” I question with a hint of amusement in my voice.
Hunter blushes. “Hey, uh… can we come in?”
“Sure,” I reply, stepping back. They squeeze into the van, the space cramped now. Nash has to crouch slightly, but Hunter looks truly uncomfortable in the small space, and I can’t help but feel sorry for him.
“Sit down, Hunter,” I suggest. Gratefully, he settles on the edge of the bed, still at my eye level.
“Thanks,” he grunts out.
“Where’s Satan?” I ask, making Nash chuckle.
“Home with Lio. I told him not to go in for the end of your shift since you wanted space, and he agreed reluctantly.” With a gentle motion, Nash cups my cheek. “Since you heard why we’re here, how are you doing?Areyou spiraling?”
Well, I absolutely did, but not in the way he’s thinking.
But I did overthink the situation for the rest of the evening, so he’s not wrong.
“I’m fine,” I lie, avoiding his intense gaze with those ocean blue eyes that seem to pierce into my soul.
Hunter, reading my discomfort, gently grips my hips and guides me onto his lap. He whispers close to my ear, “I don’t believe you.”
The words catch in my throat. “I don’t know, it’s just... Iamweird, aren’t I?”
“Why?” Hunter asks, not dismissing my concerns but inviting me to explain.
I take a deep breath. “I never thought this could happen. I was so convinced we had no future. That you guys would never agree to this. I was sure it would all blow up, and then I’d just leave.”
Wait, Hunter never said he was in. I just assumed because Nash said…
Hunter’s hold on my hip tightens reassuringly. “You’re not going anywhere,” he murmurs with a conviction that steadies my racing heart.
“I never fully considered what it would mean for you guys or how others would see it…” I trail off, my thoughts clouded with doubt.
“Fuck what others think,” Nash interjects sharply.
“They will think I’m weird, that you guys are weird,” I caution, leaning back into Hunter’s embrace, seeking solace in his reassuring presence.
Nash leans in, his tone softening. “You’ve always been seen as weird, right? Does it really matter why?”
Ouch.
“Nash,” Hunter exclaims, a mix of surprise and mild reproach in his voice.
“No, hear me out,” Nash continues. “I know it’s shit they say stuff like that, but, let’s be honest, people talk no matter what. And at least you being with the three of us will not land you in an institution or shit.”
Not until they find out that I’m with their dead brother too.
I probably should tell them that little tidbit before this goes further but not right now.
