Her hands wander up and down my back, while one of mine is on her waist, the other cupping her cheek.
I stop kissing her for just a moment, leaning back because I need to see her. I need to see that she’s enjoying this just as much as I am and that her heart is beating out of her chest like mine is.
Sloan smiles up at me, so much emotion in her eyes, and I smile back, leaning in to kiss her nose before my lips are on hers again. She lets her hand glide under my sweater, wandering to my abs, her nails gently scratching down to the waistband of my jeans, making me groan and my forehead fall to hers.
“I want this too, so damn badly, but I need to know that we’re okay first,” I whisper. “I can’t fuck you when you’re still mad at me, Sloan.”
She freezes and takes her hand out from under my shirt, making my stomach drop.
Fuck.
I will fight for her no matter what and have patience.I can wait. But when all of this isn’t good enough for her to give me another chance…
Fuck, I gave it my all.
“Even if I’ve forgiven you, even if I want everything with you,want you,I can’t chooseyou.I’m sorry, I can’t.” Her voice is hoarse. “I want them too. I can’t choose just one of you.” Her eyes brim with tears as she searches mine.
That’s the only problem?
Fuck, we should have talked with her about it.
“You don’t have to choose. You can have all of us,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her again, finally ready to let go and drown in her.
Drown in sweet coconut and soft skin.
But she stops me, pushing me away gently, asking hesitantly, “What?”
It’s hard to think when she just told me that she wants me, too, when my cock is already straining so hard in my jeans, wanting to submerge itself in her just as much as the rest of me, but I try for her sake, getting out words that make sense.
“The guys and I talked about it. And we know you can’t choose. We want you to be with all of us. We all want to try. We think,no, we’re sure we can do this. We want to make you happy. We want to have you safe. We want to have your back. We all wantyoujust as much as you want us.”
She searches my eyes as if she doesn’t believe a single word coming from my mouth. “You make it sound so easy.” She furrows her brows. “But it’s not.”
Oh, I know.
“We all will need to work on some stuff, that’s right. But let that be our problem, okay, pretty girl?” She still doesn’t look convinced, so I peck her lips and follow with, “Let that bemyproblem. I’m gonna make sure this works and that they stay in line.”
I have always let them decide what we were doing or how we were doing it, but Iwill notsit back when it comes to her.
Hope is in her gaze, and she reaches up to push strands of my hair out of my eyes.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I would do everything for you. And I love them too. We’re a family. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to work out.I promise.”
I lean in to kiss her again, but she protests once more, “But?—”
“Think about it. Think about whether you want all of us like that. Think about if you can be with us like that. Think as long as you need, but not right now.” I let my hand slide behind her head and pull on her hairband, releasing her blonde strands, the coconut scent intensifying when it falls free.
Fuck.
“Right now, all I want you to think about is me, okay? Think aboutme.”
He saidI can have them.All of them.
I’m so done, done resisting.
No resistance, no willpower left.
All I can do is drown.
