I think about scooping him up in my arms and carrying him to his bed, but it’s so damn cozy right now, so I just relax back and stroke his head while I continue to watch the movie, feeling how exhausted I am as well.
I just want to enjoy this a little while longer.
Sometime later, I hear a whispered chuckle, but my eyelids are too heavy to open. I must have dozed off.
“They’re out.”
“Fuck, that’s precious. Take a picture.”
“You take him, I’ll take her.”
I stir as I feel myself being lifted out of my warm cocoon, but soon, spices fill my nose, and I let myself drift into dizziness once more, knowing I’m safe. I’m laid down again, but it feels softer, chilly this time, with no warmth from the cocoon I left.
“No,” I whisper when the arms that hold me try to slide away from under me.
“Sleep, Blue,” comes a hushed voice. “You’re safe. Just go back to sleep.”
Reaching out with still-closed eyes, I grip the fabric close to where the voice comes from. “Stay?” I know I shouldn’t ask any of them for anything, especially him, but it’s cold, and I’m so tired. I feel alone, and I don’t want to be. I don’t want the memories to come rushing back. I want to be warm and...
North freezes after I make my plea, hesitating. “Fuck,” he whispers, and I’m sure he’ll leave me alone. But then the mattress dips and the covers rustle when he slides in next to me, pulling me close to him, my cheek on his chest, my head tucked in under his chin. His heart is beating frantically.
His warmth and smell envelop me, and my whole body relaxes.
Safe.
He kisses my head and whispers in my hair, “Please remember that you asked me to be here when you wake up. I’d rather not get strangled in my sleep.”
TWENTY-ONE
“You slept with North?”Tally exclaims, her voice rising in a pitch that could wake the dead.
“Shh!” I hiss, glancing nervously around the still-empty restaurant. “I did not!“
Mac pauses his chopping and strides over, curiosity piqued. “Good hate sex?” he probes, a teasing lilt in his voice that feels like sandpaper against my raw nerves.
“There was no hate sex. There was no sex at all!” My voice is a fierce whisper.
God, why did I even bring that up?
I mentally scold myself, feeling the conversation slipping out of my control.
“Shame,” Mac mutters, pulling out the chair next to me to sit down. “Did you at least kiss?” His nonchalance about all this is infuriating.
Tally snickers behind her hand until I shoot her a glare that could shatter glass.
“What? No, why would I?” The frustration in my voice doesn’t match the hurt inside. “Have you guys forgotten what happened in the last two weeks?” I scowl at them, and Tally laughs.
“No, of course not.” She gives me a small smile. “But did you ask yourself that too? Because you’re the one who asked North to share a bed with you.”
“I was tired, and… ugh, I don’t know, okay? I don’t even know what I want anymore. I can’t trust my own judgment. It’s all so messed up.” I fold the napkin with more force than needed, needing to take my frustration out on something.
“It’s okay, Sloan. The last few days were a lot, and it’s completely natural to feel confused.” Tally’s tone is much gentler than the one I use to talk to myself in my head.
Mac nods, crossing his arms over his chest. I told them both what happened with Adam earlier, finally getting it off my chest. I had to practically hold Mac back to stop him from leaving the restaurant to pummel Adam into the floor.
“From what I saw, these boys know they messed up and want to make it right, no matter how hard you kick their asses for it,” Mac muses, his gaze fixed on mine.
“Did you guys change sides overnight? I thoughtIwas your friend.” My stomach sinks, and insecurities bubble to the surface. “Am I being difficult for no reason?”
