But Saylor just chuckles. “But itistrue. It all hurts so much… them, you, because you guys care. You all care so much about each other. The only thing that is standing in the way is the hurt.”
“And the fact that they didn’t want me anymore as soon as they knew what I could do,” I state, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Not quite true. They thought you were a liar. But now that they know you’re not, and now they know about your gift, they still want you back.”
I let that sink in.
They know now what I can do and still want me.
Why didn’t I realize this sooner?
But does it matter?
“But they didn’t believe me. They treated me like shit. They could have chosen to believe me, but they didn’t,” I argue, trying to defend my hurt and decision not to just forgive them.
“I see your point, and I’m not telling you that you should act any differently. I just say, no matter the outcome, it will beokay.”
God, I want him to be right so badly.
“Come on, eat a little bit more, and we can take a nap together,” he whispers, nodding to the tray with the pasta.
I reach out to pull it onto my lap. “You don’t nap,” I note before pushing a forkful into my mouth.
“I love to watch you, though,” he whispers as he nuzzles my neck, and I pull my shoulder up to my ear, making a weak attempt to block him.
“Stop.” I giggle softly, and he sits back, letting me eat in peace.
“What else did I miss?” Saylor asks after I eat a few more forkfuls and place the tray back on the counter.
I lay down on the bed, and he follows suit, lying beside me, so I turn to look at him, my hands folded under my cheek. “Tally and I talked about me staying here.”
There is a glimmer of hope in his eyes, so bright there is no way not to see it, although his face stays neutral. “And?”
“And I think I want to. Maybe I’ll start looking for a room or an apartment for us,” I share.
“For us, huh?” He grins, and the joy on his face is blinding.
“I feel like this is where I belong, even after everything that happened. I can’t explain why,” I whisper, and a smile tugs at his lips.
“It’s because you do.”
He’s right.
I do.
NINE
“Fuck,”I curse, bending over and placing my hands on my knees. I feel so sick I could puke. My head is spinning, and it’s hard to swallow while I’m panting heavily.
I thought it would be a good idea to go for my morning run before work to burn the alcohol out of my system. But not eating anything and barely sleeping the last few days is now taking a toll on me.
And I still have so much whiskey left in my veins. A mosquito would get drunk if it bit me right now.
Standing next to my car in the parking lot where the boardwalk begins, I’m trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.
My thoughts simply won’t stop revolving aroundher.
I need to see her.
