I whisper, looking from one to the other, “It wasn’t your fault, and it wasn’t hers. She fought with all she had, but some battles are too hard on the soul to keep fighting. Sometimes, letting go is the only way to stop hurting. You couldn’t have prevented it. Her decision to leave was never a choice but rather a desperate escape from a torment that felt never-ending. But it’s over now.”
Then Jessica reveals, “My father, he did unspeakable things. Things that left me tainted. I-I can’t and won’t recite it. But he was the reason. Never North.” I turn to look at her with a frown.
North thinks he’s the reason?
My poor, broken, and battered heart hurts even more.
For her.
For them.
Fuck, even for me.
“Please tell Nash that I’m thankful to him, so thankful that he is the one keeping the glimmer in my son’s eyes, the one giving him the much-needed escape, the one who makes him happy.”
“Nash,” I whisper, and his eyes meet mine warily. “Jessica wants to thank you for being the one who makes Lio happy, for being his escape.”
“Jess…” Nash bites his lip before smiling sadly, “… you never have to thank me for that. You have an amazing son, and I will never stop doing my best for him.” Jessica looks at me with her own sad smile when Nash whispers, “I miss you, sis,” his eyes rimmed with tears.
My eyes well up as Jessica lets out a watery sob. “I miss you too, baby bro.”
“She says she misses you too, baby bro,” I recount, barely able to keep my voice from breaking.
In the past, I struggled to hold onto my composure for readings. I don’t even try with this one.
This feels personal.Even if it’s not.
All three of them straighten and look at each other with wide eyes.
“I knew you weren’t lying,” Nash whispers, his stricken gaze finding mine.
I just nod. I wasn’t.
But does it matter anymore?
“And Hunter, my dear Hunt.” Jessica’s lip trembles and she takes a few moments to gather her composure. “I’m sorry for deserting you. I always told you to be patient, that it gets worse before it gets better. I promised not to give up on you. But I couldn’t wait for it to get better or not give up on myself.”
Hunter clenches his fists as I recite her words to him. It’s obvious he’s struggling by the sheen in his eyes. Then I continue, “She says there’s no way of telling you how thankful she is for you stepping in for Lio. Knowing that Lio would be in good hands, even if she couldn’t be there, was the only light in her darkness. You were her best friend, her light, for years. While you were trying to find it inside you, she could always see it shining brightly.”
Hunter sinks into a crouch, his fist pressed to his mouth, a pained noise breaking out of him as he says at the same time as Jessica, “My lighthouse.”
His gaze comes up to mine as he asks, “She can hear me?”
I nod and say, “She can.”
Hunter stands up straight again, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry, Jessie, none of this was your fault,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “We should have been there for you. We should have known.” Hunter chokes back a sob. “You were always so strong. We had no idea you were fighting this battle alone. I love you,” he says, his voice trembling. “I wish I could have saved you.”
“I was out of reach, but I’m so proud of you that you were able to save yourself.”
“She’s proud of you for saving yourself,” I recite, and Hunter nods, looking down at the floor.
“I love you, too,” she whispers.
“She loves you too.” And the complete and utter heartbreak I’ve been feeling since yesterday tells me I do too.
All of them.
You’re a fucking idiot, Sloan.
