“Is it that shocking to you?”
“It is,” I say.
“Yeah, well, things happen. What else do you want me to fucking say?”
I grit my teeth. I should be furious with her. Iamfurious. And really, I should kill Kayla just for Vittoria’s insubordination, and if it were anyone else besides Elliot’s friend, I probably would have. But erasing Kayla from this will only makes things worse. Not only that, but it’s not what Vittoria did that I’m consumed with—it’s Elliot. Her hurt, the fire in her eyes, the betrayal she feels so completely. I can’t take my mind off the way she looked at me when she left, convinced I’d manipulated her in the worst way possible.
“You may have just pushed Elliot straight into Santiago’s arms,” I mutter.
“Me?” she says with bite. “Don’t pretend it’s not your own failures she’s punishing you for.”
My own failures.
I run a hand over my face, and my memory latches onto something else—the words she spoke before she stormed off.
Elliot thinks I’ve betrayed her. She thinks I’ve used her, controlled her…lied to her.
The phrasing, the venom, the way her mind worked through the betrayal… Santiago. This entire thing reeks of him.
The only people who could have told her about Nell are him or Vittoria. Vittoria wouldn’t fucking dare, but Santiago…he’s wanted Elliot since the moment he laid eyes on her.
He’s always tried to take what’s mine, always circled my life looking for leverage. He knew Elliot would never choose him willingly.
And if he couldn’t kill me in the fire, he’d settle for something worse. Destroying me by breaking her heart.
I’m going to have to find her. Tell her what really happened. Admit to my faults in the past.
Elliot deserves to know what kind of monster chose her.
Nell wasn’t a plan. She wasn’t strategy. She was a consequence.
One bad night. One lapse in discipline. An innocent couple who never should’ve crossed my path. I realized what I’d done only after, when I found the address, the proof that something fragile and innocent had been left behind.
A child.
I didn’t watch her because I wanted to.
I watched her because the guilt wouldn’t let me leave.
It may have been stupid of me to do, but watching over Nell as she grew up gave me purpose, connected me back to a part of me I thought had been lost a long time ago.
As she grew, I told myself I was protecting her. That distance and money and shadows were enough. But by the time I understood what was happening, I was already woven into the edges of her life. I had gone from an observer to a devotee.
I fell in love with the idea that I could keep her untouched by the darkness I knew so well.
That was my sin.
Not so much a desire, but possession disguised as something else.
I never told Nell the truth, that I had been the one to rip her parents from her that night. But it was not because I was afraid to lose her. It was because she would’ve finally seen me clearly. And I wasn’t ready to be seen.
Elliot was different.
She met me with her teeth bared. She pushed back. She challenged me—used me, even—to get what she wanted.
She chose me knowing exactly what I am. Knowing what I’m capable of.
I love Monty. And that’s why…I need to let her go.
