His thoughts would catch up with him soon enough.
And he suspected it would happen the moment he saw Liliah tonight at the ball.
He took another long drink of brandy, pushing the thoughts further away from his mind.
He’d deal with them—and her—later.
Yet even as he resolved to do just that, he knew that the lie he was telling was to no one—but himself.
Chapter Twenty-nine
Liliah paced her room, her thoughts a jumbled mess of confusion, hurt, elation, and fear—all warring within her. It was a fruitless battle, since each emotion was equally intense. It was a blessing her father hadn’t summoned her, and as Sarah had readied her for the Morrison rout, she had allowed her thoughts to wander and grow till they became their own creature. After she dismissed Sarah, she had begun pacing and hadn’t stopped.
Thirty minutes before they were to depart, and she hadn’t sorted even one minute detail from the mess of emotions swelling within. She had to pull it together.
She glanced to the mirror and paused.
How was it that she didn’t recognize the woman in the reflection? A month ago, she had been so certain of who she was, what she wanted, and how she was going to go about it. Now, she saw the confusion swirling in her gaze, and she wondered if others would notice as well.
What had started as an experiment in pleasure had resulted in a consequence of substance, and she wondered how long she’d need to wait to find out if Lucas’s warnings had validity?
Not enough time.
Yet, even if she had enough time, would that change anything?
No. She thought not.
She hated the weakness she felt, but she straightened her shoulders, knowing deep within, regardless with how difficult it would be, she would rise to the occasion. It was a stretch, uncomfortable and risky, yet what choice did she have?
Her hand involuntarily caressed her flat stomach, and she both marveled and feared the implications it could create.
Lucas was not going to want her simply because of a child.
He had made his position abundantly clear, and rightfully so. She hadn’t asked for his heart, nor expected it.
Nor had she expected to lose hers, yet that is exactly what happened. Was this how Meyer and Rebecca experienced every day? To love and know it could never come to fruition? What torture! Yet at least in Liliah’s case, she knew her feelings were one-sided. Luc surely enjoyed her company, her body, and even her mind, but she didn’t delude herself into expecting him to create a firm attachment.
That would be folly of the worst sort.
Of the most painful variety, since expectation on that front would only lead to disappointment.
Liliah resumed pacing, fortifying her heart with determination and the stubborn will her father so often had tried to break. There had to be some sort of silver lining.
She froze as she considered an idea.
And as she considered the facets of such a plan, she realized its merit.
It was the only solution.
Oddly enough, their indiscretion could prove to benefit them all.
As long as her father never suspected, and she had the inclination that he already did.
For it to work, she’d have to end the tryst with Luc. Even the thought of good-bye created a deep ache in her heart, but continuing in the same manner as they were would only lead to more pain in the future. And, if she were to pass off any potential child of Luc’s as Meyer’s, then she had to commit fully to the idea.
As did Meyer.
It was a plan contingent on a great many things, but it could work.
