“Very good.” Sarah curtseyed once more, then begged her leave.
Liliah granted it, and closed the door, releasing a pent-up breath.
Her gaze wandered to the bookcase, a grin teasing her lips as she approached.
“Hide-and-seek?” Liliah teased, watching a grin spread across Luc’s face as he stood.
“I win,” he replied. “After all, I wasn’t found.”
“I found you.”
“No.” He leaned down and kissed her softly. “I found you.”
“Details,” she murmured.
Lucas chuckled against her lips, then withdrew, his expression clouding.
“Yes?” Liliah asked, fisting her hand lest she reach up and caress his pinched brow in efforts to soothe it. But she wasn’t sure if such a gesture was welcome.
“I—that is . . .” He swore again. “I did not control myself as I should have.”
Liliah frowned in confusion, her mind flipping through the last twenty minutes.
He tenderly grasped her chin, forcing her to meet his expression. “I did not pull out as I did the first time. Liliah, do you understand what I’m saying?” He narrowed his eyes curiously.
Liliah shook her head with some effort, since his grasp was still upon her chin.
Lucas swallowed. “It means that there could be consequences. . . Dear Lord, what have I done?” Lucas ground out, releasing her. “In this you see exactly who I am, Liliah.” He shook his head angrily. “I not only willingly ruined you, but selfishly I took you as well, and even now as I should be loathing myself for such a deplorable act as giving seed to your womb, I have no shame; rather, in my selfishness, I only pray I don’t get caught with such a consequence, though it would certainly be my due.” He twisted his neck, tugged on his shirtsleeves, and smoothed back his hair, all the while holding her gaze as if unable to release her.
Liliah wasn’t certain how to respond. Fear and anxiety washed over her first before the wonder and hope of the idea of a carrying Lucas’s child—of never having to let go of that part of him.
The wonder melted into shame, and she suspected that his anger wasn’t only aimed at himself, but her as well. It wasn’t a rational thought, but she was finding that the more she emotionally responded to Lucas, the more jumbled her thoughts became.
“Have you anything to say?” Lucas stood up straight, as if expecting a blow.
“What would you have me say? Or do, for that matter?” Liliah asked, her brow pinching.
Lucas took a breath, then paused as if thinking better of whatever he was going to say. Finally, he simply shook his head. “Nothing.” And with a long look, he strode to the door and peeked out. Without a backward glance, he was gone.
* * *
Liliah sighed deeply, then walked aimlessly to the center of the library. Reaching out, she caressed the back of the sofa as her mind wandered back to the stolen moments.
This clear idea had become more distorted by the moment. What had started as simply experience, had grown into something far less tangible and far more deep. Unable to fully understand, she had the sensation of treading water and failing to reach the surface. Her heart constricted each time she flickered her thoughts to Luc, and she forced herself to consider the option that had no future.
That maybe, just maybe, she was falling in love.
All the powerful sensations aligned with every account of love, yet the sinking feeling was ever present—and she wondered if that was because deep in her heart, she knew.
Love was impossible.
Lords of temptation were surely immune—and Lucas was certainly the king of their ranks.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Lucas called himself every loathsome name in his extensive repertoire. He had easily evaded the servants in the duke’s household, at least to the front door, where the butler simply arched a brow as he passed by. He forced a calm walk to his awaiting carriage and instructed the driver to head to the club. He needed time to think, but mostly, he needed someone who would beat some sense into him.
Heathcliff was always up for a challenge, and today he was going to get a fresh one.
