I’ll admit I watched the video a couple of times. For the throw. Not for the footage of him shirtless on a boat in the sun.
“I’ve got good ball placement with a moving target.” He runs a hand over his jaw, and I follow the movement, but shake my head out of it.
I refuse to let myself get caught up in the beautiful exterior. He is handsome. I let myself admit that—daily, it seems. But I can’t let that distract me.
“It would appear you do.”
He smiles at me. Again. And it cuts me deeper every single time. It’d be easier to stay annoyed with him if he wasn’t also one of the nicest humans on the planet.
His smiles are genuine. They’re intentional. He doesn’t half-ass them. He’s all in when he’s showing you his joy, and it pulls me in a little more every time.
“So, you’re happy living here, though? That’s great.” He circles back to our original topic.
“I am. I actually really like it.”
“Actually?” He laughs. “Did you expect to hate it?”
“I just didn’t know what to expect, honestly. Moving in here included a lot of…” I inhale a deep breath and hold it in for a few seconds before finishing. “Firsts,” I finally say.
Pulling my legs into a crisscross position, I lean back on my palms.
Liam’s outstretched leg is almost touching my knee. He takes up so much space and rather than it feeling invading, it feels secure. It makesmefeel secure.
“What kind of firsts?” he asks.
I find myself staring at his legs. He’s more muscular than I ever thought. In all fairness, I don’t see many of the athletes I work with in shorts. But his thighs are thick and defined.
“Only if you want to,” he assures me.
“It’s fine,” I say. “I’ve never lived alone.” Embarrassment wants to creep down my spine. Thirty-five and never lived alone, is that normal? But the way Liam’s looking at me makes me think—hope, almost—that I’d be able to say anything and he’d never judge me.
It’s a major contrast to how I began feeling in my marriage. My feelings felt like a burden. My wants felt unimportant. I questioned myself way more often as time went on and somehow began to feel inadequate with Brandon. Like I was no longer enough for him.
“It’s a big step,” Liam says as he looks to face me.
“I went from my parents, to college, then with Brandon, and then Alyssa for a little while…and I never truly got to choosewhere I wanted to be. I went to college where I was accepted—I mean, yes, it was one of my choice schools, but then afterward, I moved here because Brandon was drafted and then…well, you know the last bit.”
A look of guilt washes over his face as he shakes his head.
“And you didn’t exactly get to pick this apartment either. I’m sorry,” he says, his voice nearly a whisper.
“Just because you suggested the place doesn’t mean I didn’t choose to rent it. I love this apartment. I really love it.”
“I’m glad. It’s nice having you close by. Even if I’m certain you’re avoiding me half the time.”
His hand playfully reaches for my arm and the tips of his fingers gently make contact, sending goose bumps through my body, and instead of pulling away or even rolling my eyes, I softly smile.
The least I can do is be kind to him. Liam’s always kind to me. He’s always thinking of me and always willing to help.
“Choosing where to live and doing it on my own were big steps for me personally. I’ve spent the last nine months as a single woman for the first time in my adult life, and you know what?”
“Hmm?”
“I love it.”
“Good. You deserve to live life on your terms. You should be happy.” He smiles.
Liam’s feelings for me aside, I can feel—genuinely feel—he means that. And I hate that he’s making me second guess everything I thought I knew.
