The words spill out of his mouth and I stand there frozen as Nate starts pacing in my living room before I can even get the front door closed.
“I can’t ignore everything that happened between us, everything I felt. I know you felt it too. I know there’s something here. You’re nervous and that’s okay, but please give this a chance. Give us a chance. I’ve buried everything I felt for years with you, Mia. Please. If I need to do it again, I will. But I really don’t fucking want to.”
My hands feel clammy, the air in here feels thick, but seeing him come barging through my door has my heart hammering in my ears.
Nate stands there in my living room with dark jeans and an old band t-shirt under a flannel. His clean-shaven face makes him look a little younger, but in my mind, I’m instantly transported back in time. I’m looking at the man I met all those years ago. The sweet, music loving, goofy, Nate Campbell… and all I want to do is kiss him.
He walks towards me as I stand in the foyer of my apartment, and I’m still stunned by everything he just said but also aching at the thought of him walking away without me telling him everything I feel too.
“I’m not going out with Connor,” I whisper, heart racing and my head spinning.
Nate stops in front of me before he brings the most beautiful blue eyes to mine, staring so far into me, I swear he can see right into my soul.
His hand reaches out and cups my cheek. I let my head tilt into the warmth of his palm as he backs me up against the wall. God, this feels so good. His embrace like this feels so right.
There’s the smallest speck of hesitation as he tilts his head, looking over my face as we stand there.
“You’re not?” A glimmer of hope flashes in his eyes.
Shaking my head, my lips tremble through a smile as I look up to him, and a sigh of what I can only assume is relief leaves his chest. Everything in me wants him to kiss me, and I can feel the tension between us as he stands there probably contemplating the same things I am. His forehead comes down closer to mine before I hear him speak.
“Fuck it,” he mutters under his breath, just before his lips meet mine.
It’s fireworks and explosions. It’s a Hallmark holiday movie and a passionate romance novel. It’s playful, yet possessive. It’s everything.
The kiss is hungry, but perfect. Like we’ve waited years for this moment and it’s finally here and neither of us can actually believe it’s happening. His hand travels into my hair and to the back of my neck, gripping in place and his body presses mine against the wall as our kiss deepens. His lips are persuasive and I follow his lead as his tongue strokes my own in a rhythm so perfectly tailored to the two of us. Nate’s lips feel like velvet moving seamlessly against mine. Our lips slowly part while we each stand there in my dimly lit foyer. I look up at him, pressing my lips together at the memory of his tongue just seconds ago,feeling heat rising in every crevice of my body as he’s still firmly pressed against me.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, trailing his fingers along my jaw.
I’ll never experience another kiss like that in my lifetime. I already know it. That was absolute magic.
Nate leans forward, burying his face into my neck and plants small kisses just below my ear. “God, you’re amazing,” he whispers before pulling back again and my body arches at his touch, at his words.
I bring my hands down from around his neck and rest them on his chest as he stands in front of me. The fabric of his flannel feels soft under my palms, but below that his muscles are firm as I gently lean into him.
“I’ve waited for you, Mia. God, I’ve wanted you so much longer than I ever let myself admit.” My heart turns over every single time his gaze meets mine. “I was a goddamn fool for not saying something sooner.”
The way Nate speaks to me, and simply just his presence alone, soothes me in a way that I’ve never felt. My feelings for him are intensifying even in just this brief moment. Every time he talks, I swear they’re growing stronger.
“I’m so scared of losing you,” I whisper, almost wanting to take it back immediately, in fear of ruining the moment. But the feeling is true, it’s valid. I can’t imagine my life without him.
“You won’t.” He runs a hand down my arm and stops when he gets to my hand, gripping it in his own.
“We wouldn’t have made it in college,” he says, squeezing my hand. “I’ve thought about it and I don’t think we would have. I wasn’t good enough for you back then. Hell, I hope I’m good enough for you now. But I’m going to try like my life depends on it to be the man you need. You won’t lose me, Smalls. I promise. This is it for me, you’re it.”
“I’m just… surprised is all. I’m nothing like the women you typically go for.” I shrug as he pulls my body closer to his, my head resting on his chest before he looks down at me. His hands come up to my cheeks, cupping them in his warm embrace.
“None of those women were you.” His steel blue eyes focus on mine.
“What?”
“They were not you.”
The gentle sound of Nate’s voice as he’s speaking is bringing a wave of realization over me. He’s looking at me with such sincerity and so much hope.
“It’s always been you, Mia. I tried to trick myself into thinking I could be with someone else, that I could want someone else.” His head shakes back and forth with a nearly sarcastic scoff. “But the truth is, I’ve just always been avoiding the fact that I didn’t actually want any of them. Because I want you.”
“I want you,” he repeats.
