The shower in the bathroom is running as I step into the bedroom. My body collapses on the chair in the corner of the room, head falling back and eyes closing in thought. I was so close tonight. So close to spitting it out. I’ve never had trouble opening up to Mia and this shouldn’t be any different. I know I said I couldn’t control who she dates, and fuck, I can’t… but I can try to show her why she should go on a date with me instead. I’ve had a lot of fucking time to think about it, and what I’ve concluded is that Mia knows me as her best friend and nothing more, so I just have to show her I can be more than that. She knows I’ll be there for her through anything. But she doesn’t know Boyfriend Nate. She doesn’t know how good this can be, but I do. So I have to find a way to help her see it too.
“You can have the bed tonight since I so selfishly hogged it last night.” As if on cue, Mia is back to her normal self as she steps out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a flimsy white towel wrapped around her body. There are still water droplets on her shoulders and I’m doing my best to stay focused on herface when every instinct wants my eyes to work up and down her barely dressed body.
“I think we can manage sharing a bed, Mi. I’m going to take a shower.” I walk by her, inhaling her lavender scent and my fingers feather along the back of her arm just above her elbow as I walk by. The goosebumps that flare up could be from just stepping out of a warm shower into the cooler bedroom or they could be from my touch.
“Okay, yeah, it should be fine.” She perks up, almost sounding shrill in her response.
Letting the warm water flow down my back as I stand with my head under the shower and my hands against the wall, I feel my cock twitch as a brief thought of Mia crosses my mind knowing that her naked body was just in this shower. Knowing that her barely dressed skin is just on the other side of this door and my mind wanders.
We’re at Summerfest a few years ago. She’s wearing a yellow sundress and white sneakers. Her long brown hair is blowing in her face and she keeps complaining about it getting stuck in her lip gloss, but refuses to put it up. I lift her up on my shoulders so she can get a better view when our favorite band comes on stage. She smells like lavender and honey. My hands grip her smooth, toned legs to keep her balanced as she sits on my shoulders swaying back and forth, dancing to the music. If I just rotate her around, my face is right—
Fuck.
Without realizing it, I'm stroking myself hard, with thoughts about Mia. Very, very inappropriate thoughts of my best friend are clouding my mind. The groans that are involuntarily leaving my chest can’t be contained and I’m certain she can hear me, but just the thought of her is too good.
With one hand gripping the side of the wall, I jerk myself harder, faster, barely able to keep up with the thoughts that areracing through my mind. Seconds later, I come so fucking hard I swear I’m about to pass out on this shower floor as Mia’s name leaves my lips. I’ve thought of Mia before, but never in a way that made me desperate to touch her. Desperate for it to be her lips around my cock, sucking me off, making me come as I grip her hair around my wrist.
“Mia.” I hear a deep growl of my name as I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, still in my towel, nearly panting myself. From the other side of this door for the last fifteen minutes, I’ve heard shallow grunts and moans, the frequency of them brought me to sitting right here.
What the fuck is happening tonight?
There’s a dull throb between my legs. I’d like to say it’s sudden, but I’ve felt it for hours. Maybe I’m just lonely and horny, and the extra attention from Nate is playing tricks on my mind. After all, it’s been practically a year at this point since I’ve had sex and I can’t give myself an orgasm no matter how hard I try. And Nate’s over here saying things and acting certain ways and it’s affecting me in a way it shouldn’t. But hearing my name come from his lips while he’s in the shower? That sends a whole new level of tension through me.
The bathroom door opens and my eyes immediately shoot up. Nate shakes his hair as he’s walking out in nothing but a towel, and there’s the throb again. A little pulse between my legs reminding me that even though he’s my best friend, he’s still devastatingly handsome. His chest is firm and tan with each muscle outlined down to the V-shape at his waist. His towel looks like it’s barely hanging on, and my memory is fully intact as I recall what’s beneath.
“You aren’t dressed.” His voice is low, almost ragged.
“I got sidetracked scrolling my phone. Have a good shower?” The lie is a waste as his eyes drift to the dresser where my phone sits plugged into the charger on the other side of the room.
“Very.” He doesn’t try to hide the smirk that casts over his face. Does he not care that I just heard him moan my name? He wasn’t quiet, he has to know I heard him.
As he looks back to me, my heart pounds in response. I’m pressing my thighs together so tightly to stop the ache. This is all too much. Too many things I’m feeling that I shouldn’t be. My mind and body are just very confused and I need to get it back on the right track. I stand on slightly wobbly legs and reach for my clothes to change, heading to the bathroom. He starts to move the towel off of his body before I have the door completely closed and I stand there, frozen, with my heart secretly wondering what this would be like.
“Come on in, the water is fine,” Nate jokes once I come back into the bedroom. He’s bare chested but I can see his shorts as the comforter is resting near his knees.
“Cute PJs, Mi.”
“Well it was either these pancake and waffle shorts and this tank top or stealing one of your t-shirts.”
“I’d be fine with that.” He shrugs and begins to pull the comforter up over us as I get in next to him. Nate teeters back and forth between normal, playful conversation and then the serious, more desirable tone, and I’m just not sure who to expect when he opens his mouth at this point.
Turning on my side, I can feel his breath behind me. I know he’s awake due to the deep sighs that keep coming from his side of the bed. It’s almost one in the morning, but I have no idea how I’ll get any sleep tonight. I’m too wound up. I can feel it everywhere. Everything is tingling. I don’t want it to, but I don’t know how to stop the burning.
Nate opened a new door for us when we talked about sex, and then again tonight with how he’s acting. A door I thought was closed back in college. He probably doesn’t even remember the night we almost kissed. Sometimes I wish I could have it back, that I could redo it and let him kiss me.
I’ve always found Nate attractive, that’s never been the issue. The thing always standing in my way of doing anything is the fact that he’s everything to me. Every happy memory I have in the last few years, Nate is at the root of those. He’s been there for me through every single hard time too. Part of me is surprised that he’s even having these feelings. He knows how important our friendship is to me, I know he wouldn’t risk that unless he was serious.
Two fifteen. My arm slings across my forehead and I whip the covers off of my body. When I glance over, Nate’s facing the other way but his body is moving up and down slowly. Maybe he was finally able to fall asleep, but I sure as hell can’t.
I need relief.
I need to at least fucking try.
My suitcase is on the floor right next to me so I grab the sweater that my vibrator is under and pull it out of my bag, tucking it under my arm before I tiptoe out of the bedroom to the living room and close the door behind me. It’s far enough away that Nate shouldn’t wake up.
“Okay,” I whisper. A mini pep talk seems reasonable at two thirty in the morning before I’m about to use a vibrator with my best friend in the next room. God, what the hell is happening? He’s the whole reason I’m even going to this extreme level right now.
I slip out of my shorts as I lay back on the couch, my head resting on the arm facing away from the bedroom door. I don’t have much faith in this, but it’s my last-ditch effort to be able to get some sleep.
