“You’ve got dirt on your face, Smalls.” He laughs, reaching his hand up to my cheek and swiping it away. Ugh, that’s embarrassing. How the hell did that even get there?
“Tell me what's going on with your dad.” Nate’s words don’t come off sharp in his request, he’s sincere.
“I’ve been going back and forth in emails since yesterday. I gave his landlord the rest of last month's rent, plus some to help cover this month. His electric company said they’d work with meon a payment plan, so at least that’s good. I paid his last three water bills though. I still have no clue what’s going on with his taxes.” I shrug as we stand there between tall trees towering over us.
Nate reaches for his bag, grabbing his water bottle and takes a sip. I notice the way his forearm grips the bottle; the way it squeezes so the water can shoot directly into his mouth from the nozzle. His throat moves up and down as he swallows with his head tilted back, mouth wide open and I suddenly feel the urge to jump into that cold lake a few yards ahead.
He sighs. “I wish you would’ve let me help you.”
“I just… I don’t like the idea of owing you anything. I’m independent. I have always gotten by on my own dollar, and I just can’t ask you for money.”
“I’m offering, you’re not asking. If anything, I’m forcing my money into your hands.” His voice is patient, it’s calm, tranquil even.
“I know and I love you for it, but I can’t take it.”
He grunts in frustration. “You’re infuriatingly stubborn, you know that, right?”
I begin to walk again. “I’m independent. And independence is something that a lot of people would find wildly attractive, you know,” I joke.
“I’m sure there are plenty of things people find wildly attractive about you,” he answers with a quiet emphasis, leaving silence between us for the next half-mile.
This entire trail is roughly five miles if we were to go all the way to the end and then back to the beginning, but we’ve taken a few detours and have stopped quite a bit taking a look at our surroundings. Nate’s stayed silent for the most part, something I feel like he probably needs. Allowing himself to just get caught up in the calming atmosphere around us was kind of my goal for the afternoon.
The quiet, peaceful walk ends once I hear a scream in front of me. “Oh my God! Holy shit!” Nate yells from just a few feet ahead of me. His large body jumps in the air and nearly falls backwards as he regains his balance and runs off to the side of the trail.
“What?” I ask, confused by his sudden outburst.
“A snake. I almost stepped on a goddamn snake!” He rushes off even further into the trees.
Biting my cheek, I’m trying to hide the laugh that wants to erupt from my chest. Seeing this tough, manly guy leap into the air and squeal like a little girl is something I didn’t know I needed to witness, but that really made my day. I inch myself closer to where Nate was walking ahead of me to see if I can see the snake he was referring to, but nothing is there.
“It’s more afraid of you than you are of it.”
“I highly doubt that.” He slowly walks back to the trail, cautiously looking all around him.
“So, you can handle an alligator on a golf course, but a snake in the woods is where you draw the line?”
“Actually yes, that’s exactly it.” He playfully pulls the strap on my backpack, nearly pulling me down, but I fall right into his side. His arms cradle my own and I glance up at him before I pull myself back up to a standing position.
We share a brief moment of eye contact before the air feels too thick.
“Any idea what you’re going to say for the speech for your parents?”
“Aside from congratulations, no.” A trace of laughter in his voice.
“Look at you, two speeches within a month.” Teasing, I run up ahead of him and out into the open field ahead. The sun shines bright out here in the open. There aren’t any trees standing among the flowers, and although it’s not as green asit would be in the spring or summer, it’s still a beautiful sight. Something about a field like this just makes me want to take off running like I’m eight-years-old.
Nate’s watching me as he walks towards me, hands clasped on the straps at his shoulders. The way his muscles ripple under his shirt is sending my heart into palpitations as he saunters closer to me. I’ve looked at Nate for years as just a friend, but lately when our eyes meet, I’m seeing so much more. So much possibility. And it’s confusing.
“This suits you.” Nate’s husky voice carries across the distance to me as he approaches. “The whole outdoors, nature, open spaces thing.” He raises his hand and waves it out in front of us.
“I think it suits you, too. The calm… quiet. You need to be able to escape to places like this when you aren’t on the field. Your soul needs it.”
“Being out here with you is definitely something I needed. Thanks for this, Smalls.” Nate pulls me into him without hesitation. Like it’s the most natural thing in the world to hold me like this, and I guess, realistically, it is natural for us. We’ve never shied away from physical touch, but it’s never felt intimate until recently. I let my head rest on his chest, inhaling his cedar scent mixed with the fresh air blowing through. His arms only tighten the longer we stand there together and it’s such a moment of safety for me, a moment of sincerity, things I’ve felt with Nate for a long time, but never allowed myself to feel them on a deeper level.
“Let me see the map that you raved about.” Nate reaches his hand out to me once he lets me go. We got a little turned around with all of the detours we took.
“Oh, Mr. ‘Ships in the Night’ needs to see the map? You can’t just stick your finger in the air and tell me where to go based on the wind?”
