I’ll admit it, I’m the most annoying person when it comes to time management. I do everything in my life according to a time ora date, some kind of schedule. So, when it’s six thirty-five and I told Nate we should leave at six thirty and he still isn’t here, I’m annoyed.
Nate
Don’t lose your marbles. I had to drop Hendrix off at the doggy daycare. They accommodated me by opening up early so I could still have him home last night. I’m almost there. Send. Fucking send.
I laugh out loud reading the end of his text knowing that it was a voice message.
Okay, toothbrush, hand lotion, makeup and headbands. All my last minute items to throw in my overnight bag. Summer’s little add on to the conversation yesterday crosses my mind. I do have something, uh, fun in my nightstand, but I’m too nervous to bring it with me. Chances of me using it are slim and even if I did try, the chances of it working are even less. I’ve never been able to give myself an orgasm. No matter how many times I’ve tried. I’ve even very vividly tried to picture Chace Crawford in hisGossip Girlprime… and still nothing. So much for a celebrity crush.
Nate knocks on my door before it swings open and he’s holding his hand out to me.
“I even come bearing gifts.”
My fucking AirPods.
“Where were these?” I excitedly reach for them and cup them in my hands as if they’re gold.
“In my truck, not sure how long they’ve been there. I’m sure they need to be charged.” He smiles and walks over to my suitcase on wheels and pulls up the handle to walk it out.
“I’ll be back for that bag.” He gestures to the overnight bag I have on the counter.
“Oh, I can carry this one.” I wave him off and grab my charger out of the drawer.
“I’ll be back for that bag,” he repeats, back already turned to me as he’s walking out.
In a split second decision, I toss my vibrator into the overnight bag, stuffing it underneath everything else. When Nate walks back in, he cocks an eyebrow at me after my fingers suspiciously pull away from the zipper as soon as he makes his presence known.
“What do you have there, Smalls?” His lips curve into a tiny smirk as he stands there. I walk right past him into my bedroom to grab a sweater and he follows me. His hands grip the top frame of the door as he stands in the doorway and leans forward. His shirt is hugging his biceps and I’m slightly distracted by the way the muscles flex every time he shifts himself.
“I’m all set, are you ready?” I ask.
“Deflecting. Okay. Now I really need to know what’s in that bag.” I stand in front of him, arms crossed over my chest. Nate’s tongue slowly edges out, coating his lips before he pulls away from the door frame allowing me to pass.
“Feminine products,” I lie, but also know that will likely make him stop asking.
His head shakes back and forth at me as he grabs the bag from the counter and I turn off the light, lock my front door and follow him out.
“Alright, Clark, what kind of playlist did you make for us?”
Leaving before sunrise wasn’t my idea, but it turns out that getting on the road and out of downtown before any traffic was a wise choice.
“We have options. First, singalongs. A musical compilation of songs with two singers so we can each have our moment. I also searched through my old files on my laptop to find the playlist we made before you left to move. Thankfully I found it because it has some serious bangers on there that we love.”
“Nice.” I nod my head, merging onto the interstate.
“And… I downloaded some podcasts. I know you don’t listen to them a lot, but I spent a lot of time researching podcasts for athletes. Specifically, where they openly talk about their struggles or things they’ve gone through and ways they were able to come out the other side. We don’t have to listen to any ofthem, but I just want you to have the option… if you wanted it.” From my peripheral I can see Mia shrug her shoulders to herself.
“Thanks, Mi.”
With it being mid-October, I’m expecting Wisconsin to already have a chill in the air once we get there. Even if Mia didn’t get her own invite, I still would have wanted her to come with me. Being alone makes everything heavier, harder. And when I’m with Mia, when I’m talking to her, I just feel like she slowly chips away all of the broken pieces.
Coach Aarons’ comment about seeing the team therapist is intimidating to say the least. I’m not sure that I want to sit in a room with a stranger and talk about my issues. If I can’t tell my family or my closest friends, how could I share it with a complete stranger?
I’ve seen Dana around the facility a lot. I’m not sure if anyone else on the team sees her, but she’s been in team meetings and I’ve seen her around the building and in passing. Having team therapists is still new in the league, teams only recently started adding them to organizations. I remember the meeting we had when she came on board. The coach let us know that she’s available for something as simple as a monthly check-in, all the way to weekly visits if we felt like we needed it.
“If you want to just talk, too. That’s always on the table.” Mia opens the glovebox and pushes papers to the side as she reaches her arm to the back. When she pulls her arm out, I notice a handful of Starburst.
“Did you stash Starburst in my glovebox?” Unable to keep the laughter in, I let it roll out of my chest.
