SIX YEARS AGO
“So, in less than twenty-four hours you’re just leaving me at this school to fend for myself for the next year? That’s really nice, Nate.” I playfully elbow my best friend next to me as we walk down the sidewalk back to my dorm.
Nate Campbell is the best running back this school has ever seen so was I really shocked when he was drafted by the NFL to play for the Tampa Knights? Of course not.
“You can always come visit me, Smalls. Or better yet, just be my neighbor next year.” He flashes his blue eyes my way as we continue on our walk.
I still have one more year of college, but I have no clue where I’ll go once this is all over. I’ve loved living in Wisconsin. The small town atmosphere of the Midwest has definitely grown onme, but I’m more than ready to live somewhere that doesn’t spend half of the year below seventy degrees.
Tomorrow, Nate heads to Florida to meet the team and coaches and get himself settled in Tampa before training camp begins. It’ll be weird being on campus without him considering he’s essentially my only real friend here. My roommate Natasha and I are close enough, but she has a longtime boyfriend, so the majority of her time is spent with him. I guess I could tag along with them and just be a permanent third wheel next year.
Nate opens the door to my dorm and I step inside as he follows closely behind. His hand runs through his tousled brown hair, pulling it away from his eyes as he steps into my small kitchen. This will be the last time I see these shaggy locks since he’s about to cut it and it’s a shame considering his hair is what drew me to him to begin with. It’s prettier than mine.
Nate and I became fast friends—it was easy, we just kind of fell into sync with one another. Being drawn to Nate had nothing to do with him being a great football player and everything to do with who he is as a person. Spending all of my time with someone who constantly made me laugh, challenged me, and actually listened to the things I said was as easy as breathing.
“What about getting a dog?” I ask as I’m breaking free of the sweater I have on.
“A dog?” His eyebrows furrow as he says it and then his expression softens, as if he’s actually considering it.
“Come on, you know you’re a dog person. You need the company. Who are you going to talk to all the time in your apartment?” My arms cross over my chest with a knowing smile and he pulls me into a hug as he laughs.
“Fuck, I’m really going to miss you, Mi.”
“If you find a new best friend, I’ll sneak into your house and cut holes in every one of your beloved REO Speedwagon shirts as revenge.”
Nate gasps at my threat and I throw a devilish smile in his direction.
“You wouldn’t dream of it. You know you love them just as much as me. I think seeing them at Summerfest was the highlight of the summer, and Bryan was always my hair inspiration.” He attempts to fluff his hair and we both laugh because Nate’s hair looks nothing like the drummer’s, but I won’t hurt his feelings by telling him that.
When Nate and I met, one of the first things that bonded us was our love for music. I barely remember how the conversation started, but I know it ended with us doing a very off-key, yet entertaining karaoke set of “Don’t Stop Believing” by Journey. That was the moment we simultaneously knew that we were meant to be friends and it’s just been that way ever since. He was wearing a black Rolling Stones t-shirt and had on dark denim jeans with vans. His crystal blue eyes stood out in a dark room. Aside from his physical appearance—you know, the muscles and all—I never would’ve guessed he played football.
Being best friends with the star player on the football team doesn’t go without its assumptions and questions though. I’m used to the side eyes and confused looks from the other girls when Nate and I are always showing up places together, but never actuallytogether.
After a while, we’d gotten so tired of fielding questions about us being more than friends that eventually we just started ignoring the comments rather than always addressing them. We let people think what they wanted and we were content with that. If people wanted to think I was screwing one of the hottest guys on campus, so be it.
The night after the Homecoming game last year, Nate had quite a bit to drink. Really, anything more than a few beers is a lot for Nate since he’s not a huge drinker. But the football team had just won a big game, and he knew he was going to getdrafted, so he was on cloud nine all night. He had every reason to celebrate.
There was a moment where I could have let mymildattraction and lady bits call the shots, but I’m nothing if not a responsible adult. My friendship with Nate is too important to me and I didn’t want to risk losing that. So, when we were in the hallway of the frat house and he waltzed his 6-foot frame in my direction with a look of pure lust and those baby blues staring right at me, I knew I couldn’t let anything happen. And that meant turning him down when he leaned too close and touched too often.
I still remember the cedar scent wafting from his skin, the flannel shirt he was wearing, the scrunchie of mine that he had around his wrist… it’s probably one of those memories I’ll never forget. Our friendship could have changed drastically in just that one moment. At times, I can’t help but wonderwhat if?But I know I did the right thing by pulling away.
We have never talked about that night and we’ve never come close to anything else like it again. We went right back into our normal routine, walking to classes together and having our karaoke nights at the local bar near campus when we could make it. We’d make pizza together the night before he’d leave for away games. We developed a lot of little habits with one another and I’ll definitely miss doing all of that with him. It’s going to be so different next year for me, but I’m really proud of him.
“You should come apartment hunting with me, actually. The team is setting me up somewhere for the first few weeks, but before classes start, can you fly in?” Nate asks while unwrapping a pink Starburst from the dish on my counter and tossing it in his mouth. “I’ll book you a flight. Please, Mi. You know I’ll need your help.” He cocks his head to the side as he chews.
“Fine,” I concede. “IguessI’ll go to sunny Florida for a weekend.” I tease, flinging my scrunchie at him, which he proceeds to pick up from the ground and slide onto his wrist.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll go visit him down there, end up loving it and consider it as a place to live after I’m done with school. The beach is one of my favorite places and I love the warm weather, so it’s actually not the wildest idea.
Before Nate leaves, he reaches his hand out and grasps mine for our tacky little handshake. It hits me that this will be the last time we get to do this—at least for now. It’s something we randomly started doing when he would leave for away games. Like most little quirks Nate and I have, I don’t know how it started, but we just found ourselves doing it every time before he’d leave and it’s stuck.
“Are you going to find someone else to do this with now since you’re leaving?”
Clapping our hands together twice, then bumping elbows, back to a hand clap and finally a hip bump and a hug.
Nate turns the doorknob and opens the door to leave. “No, Mi. It’ll only ever be you.”
PRESENT
