“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Anderson? That’s mysister. I’ve trusted you around her. Trusted you to respect her. Hell, to respect me, as your fucking friend. Do you even know the bullshit she’s gone through?” He runs his hands in his hair before speaking again. “I’m supposed to look out for her, make sure she doesn’t get hurt. Again. Fuck, there’s just so much you don’t know, Ford. Whatever this is, just stop. Leave her alone. She can’t handle you, or the loss of you that will inevitably come.”
His words are a blow to my chest,the loss that will inevitably come… does he really fucking think that low of me? That I’d just fuck around with his sister and then leave her when I’m bored or some shit.
“No,” I say, I’m almost wishing he’d just punch me in the face rather than have this conversation with him. Chase squares his shoulders up to me, he may have more weight on me, but I’m still 6 '4 and I don’t feel the need to back down at this moment. I also probably deserve his fist, so if he wants to hit me I’m not planning on swinging back.
“I know you, Ford. You’re not stupid, but this…” He gestures between us. “This would be stupid on your part.” I hang my head and pull a few steps back.
“She told me what she’s been through, Chase, I know about all of it.” He looks at me like I just betrayed him and I guess I have been, but I’ll prove to him that his sister is safe with me, that this isn’t just some fling.
“You don’t know shit,” he says with a clenched jaw and turns away from me.
This whole thing with Abby started as one big secret, a lie to someone we both care about, but right now? Right now, I’m going to be as honest as humanly possible with Chase.
“I know I love your sister. I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow, your stubborn, chatty, fucking incredible sister changed me. And yeah, maybe I used to be the guy who didn’t want attachments, the guy who would just fuck around when I felt like it, but I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since the day I met Abby. She told me that her ex cheated on her, that he made her feel like she wasn’t the best damn thing in the world, but she so clearly is the best thing in mine. Abby is everything. She’s everywhere. Shit, when I should be running plays in my head, I’m thinking of her. She’s completely consumed me.”
Some of the tension in Chase’s body seems to relax at my confession. I didn’t plan on being this open and vulnerable with him, but at this point I just want everyone to know how much I fucking love her.
“Listen, I know I fucked up your trust and really, I’m sorry for that. Maybe we should have told you sooner or maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference, but I promise you this isn’t a game with her, this isn’t some fling, I love her. I’m in love with her.”
I let out a sigh as we’re both standing there. Neither of us say anything for what feels like minutes, even though I’m sure it’s only a few seconds. Finally, Chase glances towards the door where Diane is standing, not so subtly, and watching the whole thing. I’d be embarrassed but I’m too fed up with the whole facade to care.
“And she feels the same?” Chase looks hurt, but I also see something else. Relief? I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose a parent and then feel the invisible weight of wanting to step up and protect your family the same way they would have. I think without flat out saying it, that’s what Chase meant when he said he’s supposed to protect her. He probably feels some sense of anger towards himself for what Abby went through with her ex, even though he couldn’t have stopped it from happening.
I nod my head yes at his question and he turns to the door to head back inside. “It doesn’t mean I like it.”
The door slams and my head hangs, feeling defeated, but also relieved that he knows now, even if the way he found out wasn’t ideal.
Turns out, the sliding glass doors aren’t soundproof, especially when the people on the other side aren’t speaking quietly. Ford defended our relationship with so much passion and confidence and it just filled me with so much hope.
Chase barely said two words to me after he came back inside, and Ford left shortly after that. Based on what Ford told me downstairs when I walked him out, Chase wasn’t so much angry as he was hurt, and even though I think Ford told me that in hopes it would make me feel better, it doesn’t.
“He’ll see it soon, honey. Don’t worry.” I hear my mom’s voice as I’m sitting on the couch in a daze. Chase has been avoiding me since earlier and even though I want to talk to him, it’s best to just leave him alone for the night.
“I really wanted to tell him, but I just never found the right time and now the last thing I want is for any of this to come between their friendship. And their team… it can’t affect them on the field, not with what’s at stake right now.”
My mom shakes her head and sits next to me,
“Whether they wanted me to or not, I saw and heard the whole thing. Your brother loves you. He wants to protect you. I think Ford just proved that he also wants to protect you and maybe… your brother wasn’t ready to hear that. It sounds like they both care about you and need to give each other the room to do it.”
Wiping a tear with my sleeve, I lean into my mom’s shoulder. I don’t want Chase beating himself up over what happened in Miami. If he feels any kind of guilt over that, he shouldn’t, because there’s absolutely no way he could have changed anything.
Laying here with my mom as she strokes my hair is such a comfort. When I was younger, she’d always do this if I had a bad day or didn’t feel good and even at twenty four it still comforts me.
“Once he sees how happy you are, it’ll all be fine.” She kisses my head and a wave of calmness washes over me as I close my eyes and soak up the rest of the night with her.
The last few days have gone by in a haze. I haven’t seen Ford, but we’ve been texting every day. Summer and my mom both left this morning and Chase left early for the game so I’m finally alone for the first time in a week. Today is the last regular season game before the playoffs start and I know how important this is to them. Ford said practice has been fine, but I’m sure he probably just doesn’t want me stressing over it. Chase has started talking to me little by little, but it’s been only about necessary things.
I want to regret the way things played out. I want to regret this whole situation I’m in because of how awkward it’s made things between Chase and me, but I can’t. If I would have done one thing differently, I may not have ended up with Ford and that’s not a scenario I’m willing to entertain right now.
My mom is right. Once Chase sees that I’m happy, how truly happy Ford and I are together, he’ll be okay with this, or he’ll learn to be.
“Oh, look at you in your fancy new digs.” Mia pulls at the jersey I have on over a pair of black leggings. We just sat down in our seats for the game. I haven’t seen Mia in a few weeks, but since Nate witnessed everything the other day, I know he told her.
“Your brother will be fine!” Mia yells over the crowd noise that erupts as the players are all introduced onto the field. I nod my head at her and then direct my attention back to the field. I’m just trying to focus on the game today and not about how much my brother hates my relationship.
When Ford catches my eye, I turn around for him to see his name on my jersey and when I look back, he has the biggest smile plastered on his face, causing one to grow on my face as well. Once Ford turns back towards the field, Chase is staring at me. And for the first time in days, he gives me a smile instead of a scowl before he turns around as the coin toss begins, giving me the slightest bit of hope.
Mia and I spend the entire game on our feet, yelling and cheering for the guys. It was definitely one of the best games I’ve been to all season. They came out with the win which only boosts their confidence going into the playoffs next week.
