The officiant welcomes everyone to our marriage ceremony, and the whole thing is like a fever dream.
I’ve always hated the idea of marriage. Not just the construct of it, but the idea that two people are choosing to share all of life’s experiences together in complete vulnerability Putting their heart on their sleeve, it’s not brave, it’s naïve. Most people don’t know what it’s like to watch what happens when a person loses their soulmate.
I have. I had to watch everyone in my family deal with the aftermath of losing my mom. I was too young to remember it at the time, to rememberher.
What I do know is how it impacted everyone around me. How everyone turned into a shell of themselves for so long they nearly forgot who they were. Especially my dad. It was like he was empty, like half of him was suddenly … gone.
I must have started shaking now, because Poppy’s small thumb is running over the back of my hand. Taking a deep breath, I look into her eyes.
This isn’t forever. This marriage isn’t going to end in heartbreak.
The officiant walks us through the standard wedding ceremony stuff, all the necessary legalities, and then he announces that we’ll be reading personalized vows. This part would have been more nerve wracking had Brooke not also given me a carefully crafted script. One I made sure to approve ahead of time, not like the engagement speech.
Silence stretches through the crowd as everyone waits in anticipation.
Poppy goes first, and she pulls out a similar small leather-bound notebook Brooke gave her as well.
“Jett,” she starts, and clears her throat as if she’s already getting emotional.
Knowing Poppy, it’s probably the fact that she’s speaking in front of a crowd making her voice sound shaky. But it certainly adds to the performance.
“Ever since you came into my life, I’ve been living it in full colour. You are… larger than life. Magnetic. Energetic. And I love our energy together. Every day with you is this incredible adventure, a roller coaster I never want to get off. I’m so glad I never have to get off. I can’t wait for a life full of excitement, and joy, and pure, unadulterated fun.”
There’s a fewawwsfrom the audience, and once it goes quiet, it’s my turn to speak.
The officiant moves the microphone so it’s in front of me. I open my notebook, and glance between the page and Poppy a couple times before I’m ready to start.
“I haven’t always thought of myself as husband material.” A few knowing chuckles ripple throughout the crowd. “But falling in love with you has fundamentally altered my DNA. I may be a bit reckless, a bit unhinged,energetic,as you so lovingly put it,” I add. “The way you manage to balance me out and bring me down to earth is nothing short of miraculous. You show me what love looks like in the quiet moments. The everyday things that are more spectacular when you get to share them with someone you love. Now I know how special it is to have a partner, someone to do life with. All the little moments of magic that can happen whenyou let yourself love and be loved. I love you, Poppy. More than words will ever do justice.”
I peer into Poppy’s eyes and my heart sinks, thinking about how beautiful the vows were, and how badly I wish they could be real for her. I pick her hands up again and hold them, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
I may not have ever dreamt of being married, but with Poppy’s hands in mine, her deep brown eyes trained on me, I have a feeling that being married to her won’t be all that bad.
The officiant announces us as husband and wife, and it’s official.
Poppy is my wife.
I have awife.
And now we have to kiss.
My heart stutters. Not because I have to pretend to enjoy kissing Poppy. I have to convince myself that I don’t.
I drop her hands and bring mine to her face, cupping her jaw and looking into her eyes for a moment before I dip my head.
“Just like we practiced,” I murmur into the space so only she can hear, and then I place my mouth on hers.
I can anticipate the sensation of her plush pink lips, I know how she’ll move them. Slowly, tentatively, reverently. I know how her tongue will taste, sweet and minty. How I swear I’ll still be able to taste it hours later and be able to think of nothing else.
But I wonder if I will ever get used to the way my heart drops through my core, bottoming out, and leaving me breathless.
If there will always be fireworks making the air pop and cracklearound us.
I kiss her with all the passion of someone who loves her. I put on a good show. And we’re rewarded with whoops and hollers of our family and friends. When we part, we both turn to face them, and I lift Poppy’s hand in the air.
More cheering and applause rings out as we walk back down the aisle.
Man and wife.
