Maddie shut off the car but didn’t open the door; instead, she sat watching the fat snowflakes blanket the windshield, the ticking of the engine the only sound breaking the silence of the night. When the car was completely enveloped by a layer of white, she realized how long she’d been sitting in the driveway and quickly gathered up her things, put up her hood, and made a run for the front door.
Already covered by a wet layer of snow by the time she made it inside, she welcomed the warmth that instantly enveloped her, and stood in the entryway for a second, letting it seep into her. After hanging her dripping coat up on a hook, she kicked off her boots and followed the smell of something wonderful down the hallway to the kitchen at the back of the house.
She heard the sound of her son laughing before she walked through the door, and for the first time in hours, a smile spread across her face, and some of the tension drained from her shoulders. When she stepped into the kitchen, Justin was sitting at the table with a pile of plastic food and a small pot in front ofhim. Mrs. Mathews was at the stove, stirring a big pot of what could only be her spaghetti sauce.
“Oh, something smells delicious in here,” she said, then took a deep breath of the fragrant air and let out a long sigh. “Is that your special sauce I smell?”
“I thought we deserved a treat tonight,” Mrs. Mathews said, setting down the spoon and turning to look at her. “Justin has been helping me.”
“I cook,” her son piped up from the table, a huge smile on his face. “Sauce for mama.”
She walked over and gave him a big kiss. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she said. “I bet it’s going to be the best sauce ever.”
Justin beamed at her, then went back to stirring the plastic food in the little pot, his face scrunched up in concentration. She ruffled his hair before collapsing into the chair next to him. Mrs. Mathews went over to the coffee pot and poured them both a cup, then sat down across from her and slid her cup over, then sat back, studying her.
“It must not have been terrible,” she finally said. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“There’s not much to talk about,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “It went about as I expected. Walker was busy flirting with some girls when I got there. He tripped over a ball trying to show off for them. I tried to help him, but he was a jerk. I got mad, yelled at him, and then stormed off to cry. When I came back we ignored each other until practice was over, then I got out of there as fast as I could. He hasn’t changed a bit, and I don’t feel the least bit guilty for not telling him. I don’t need him, and neither does Justin.”
Mrs. Mathews didn’t say anything for a second, just shook her head sadly. “I had hoped…oh well, I shouldn’t have,” she said, then reached out and took Maddie’s hand. “I just worry about you. Raising a child on your own can be a huge challenge.”
She squeezed the older woman’s hand. “I’m not raising him alone, I have you,” she said. “You’ve been there every step of the way. He loves you just as much as he loves me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I love you both, too. Having you here has been a real joy,” Mrs. Mathews said. “I’ll be sorry when you move out next summer.”
“Let’s not think about that now,” she said, dreading the day, but knowing it had to come. “We’ve still got months until then, and I don’t want to spoil our dinner. You’ve been cooking all day. What can I do to help?”
“Everything is ready, I just have to put the dressing on the salad,” Mrs. Mathews said, smiling at her, a few tears in her eyes. “If you want to grab the bread out of the oven and bring it to the table, that would be great.”
She stood up, walked around the table, and gave the older woman a hug. “How about I take care of both and you rest,” she said, feeling better than she had all day. “It’s so nice to be home, I feel much better.”
After Justin was tucked away in his little bed and the dishes were done, Maddie collapsed into bed, ignoring the stack of books on her desk, too tired to even think about studying. One night off wouldn’t hurt her; she needed some time to decompress and prepare herself for the next time she saw Walker. She couldn’t lose control again like she had earlier that day. She had to stay calm, no matter how much her heart was breaking. The last thing she wanted was for him to know that she still cared about him; that would be both dangerous and embarrassing.
Letting out a groan, she flipped over onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow. It had been over three years since he’d dumped her without a word. She should have been overhim by now, should have been able to move on, but all her heart wanted was Walker, a man who didn’t deserve her love.
He’d thrown her away, turned his back on her without an explanation, and treated her like she was nothing to him. That should have been enough to break his hold on her, but here she was still thinking about him, still pining for him. It was sad and pathetic, she thought, forcing herself to get up from the bed. Wallowing in her heartache wasn’t going to change anything, getting away from him would. Plopping down at the desk, she opened a book and started studying. Her degree was her ticket out of Elmwood Junction; maybe distance would finally do what time hadn’t.
CHAPTER 3
***WALKER***
Walker was sitting at the kitchen table shoveling cereal into his mouth as fast as he could when Ryan popped down next to him. “Since when do you have class first thing in the morning?” he asked, a look of amusement on his face. “You look like you just rolled out of bed.”
“I don’t have class, I have an appointment with my advisor,” he growled, then took another bite of cereal. “He’s going to get on my case again, and I’m not in the mood today.”
“Wow, sorry I asked,” Ryan said, scooting his chair away. “I was just curious, don’t bite my head off. It’s not my fault you can’t make up your mind.”
He looked over at his friend and let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to jump on you,” he said, wishing he could tell Ryan about running into Maddie, but didn’t dare. Talking about her would only make it harder to pretend she didn’t exist. “I just know what’s coming, I’ve been hearing the same lecture for three and a half years. I can’t help it if I can’t figure out what I want to do after college.”
“Well, you’re going to have to figure it out soon. We graduate in a few months,” Ryan said. “I guess you could always stay onhere, keep taking classes for a while, give yourself another year to figure it out.”
“I don’t think our scholarships would cover another year,” he said, shaking his head. “But I guess I could ask. It couldn’t hurt, and a little more time might help me decide.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Ryan said, then drained the last of his coffee and got to his feet. “I’ll see you later, I have to get to class. Don’t be too hard on poor Mr. Browning, he’s just trying to help you.”
His advisor was waiting for him when he showed up a little while later, a stack of paperwork on the desk in front of him. “Walker, come in,” he called when Walker poked his head into the door. “You’re my first appointment of the day. Thanks for being on time.”
He took the seat across from the desk, wondering how many more times he’d have to sit across from his advisor and feel like he was in trouble. “No problem,” he said, making himself comfortable. “How long are you going to lecture me today?”
