“There’s no way of knowing if that would have changed anything.”
“But at least I would have known I’d done everything possible. Or at least been there to comfort her through the worst hours of her life.” His chest burned. So did his eyes. He needed to get away. Go for a ride until both he and the horse were totally exhausted. “I’ve got to go.”
CHAPTER 26
Morning Fawn’s mouth dropped open. “What?”
Devon jumped to his feet. “I can’t talk about this anymore.”
“No. Wait.”
But he’d already started through the arch and down the path toward the back garden gate.
She stood. What could she say? She’d never been good at comforting others. She had failed miserably when her adopted brother died five years ago. She’d hidden her tears and kept silent. Her pia and her ahpu must have thought she didn’t care. It’d created a wall that had been slow in coming down. She could not let the man she loved go off with his raw hurt now. “Devon.”
She ran. The hard leather of her shoes gritted into her wounds like a saw.
He reached for the gate latch.
She slapped her hand on top of it first, half stumbling against the stone wall.
He glared at her in the dark. Not even the shrouded moon could fail to reveal the pain raging in his moisture-laden eye.
“It’s not your fault.” Her voice shook. Words pushed themselves out of her heart. “Isabelle loved you. She wouldn’t want you carrying this burden. I’m certain of it.”
He swiped his nose and stared at her in stony silence.
She touched his sleeve. “I know what it’s like to hurt someone you love and feel like you don’t deserve anything.”
“You do?” His voice dipped.
“More than I want to know.” Her throat clogged. Dare she say more? But the words, locked away for so long, spilled out. “In the months after I was captured by the Comanche, I watched my sister…be beaten and starved. And said nothing. I…I tried to sneak her food a couple of times. But I was afraid they’d see I belonged with her and treat me the same. I deserted her…” She wadded the wool of his jacket in her fist.
“You were a child.”
“I could have done more. I was a coward.” Laid bare, she longed to lower her head. Instead, she looked into the face of the man who needed her. “I didn’t mean to start talking about me. I just want you to know I understand.”
He slipped his palm beneath her jaw, his gaze piercing deep within her soul. “Maybe you were a scared little girl once, but the woman I see before me is a warrior who’d risk her life for her sister or anyone else she cares about. She’d take on the whole tribe to do so.”
Tears trickled down her cheeks. “And I see a man of courage and honor who loved his wife with everything he had.”
A breath shuddered through him. He yanked off his patch.
She gasped. His eye appeared whole, not injured.
His arms locked around her, sweeping her away from the precipice of the past and bathing her in warmth. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and tightened her arms around him as he pressed his cheek to her head, his grief dampening her hair, even as hers wet his jacket.
Cradling her close, he nudged her to sit against theancient Osage orange tree and held her. For how long? It didn’t matter. She never wanted to uncurl from the cocoon of his side. She had never felt so loved.
He whispered against her hair, “I haven’t looked at a woman in three years. Then I came here, and from day one, I could hardly think of anything or anyone but you…” He stroked her cheek. “I’m afraid I’ve… fallen for you. And the last thing in this world I want to do is hurt you. My mission is dangerous. I might not?—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Hush. You’re going to come out fine. You’re going to complete your mission and take me away.” She smiled. “And I’m so thankful your eye is all right.”
“Part of my cover. An excuse for not returning to my regiment and a reason to seek out Dr. Schramm.” He brushed his thumb over her shoulder. “I’ll do everything in my power to look after you and protect you. I’m going to get you out of here.”
She nuzzled deeper and squeezed his side where her arm rested across his chest. “I want to be with you, wherever that is.” She was in love, and she was loved. Nothing else mattered, not even the land her uncle had promised.
He cuddled her closer. “My intention, Warrior Girl, is to get you and me to Brownsville. We probably won’t go together or even at the same time. I have the mission to complete first. But when we get there, I plan to court you.”
