“Of course not. Touch yourself again,” I say, reassuring and tender.
She wants to ask a thousand questions, I can see each of them brewing behind her eyes. A precious sort of agony circles her irises but she complies. The edge comes a bit quicker. I wait until her head drops back onto the table and I tell her to stop again.
Harper’s a natural, even if she stops with a heavy groan. Relinquishing control isn’t easy, it goes against everything we’re ever taught. Humans are wired to make decisions, thousands of them every day. When to wake up, what to wear, what errands need to be done. We’re overrun by lists, appointments to remember, and jobs where we juggle endless tasks. We go to bed then do it all over again, day after day. Shutting our brains off in order for someone else to make the decisions, is an intimate act, even more so when it's for someone to tell you when to come.
“Start again.”
“Nolan, I don’t understand.”
“You marked edging off on the list, this is your first lesson. Do you want to keep going?”
She lifts up on her elbows and stares at me. Each of us breathing heavily in tandem. “Yes,” she finally replies.
“Yes, what, Sweet Girl?”
There’s a pause. Any answer would work, there’s nothing in particular in mind but I'm curious about what will come out of her mouth.
“Yes, Sir.” It’s a timid answer, probably foreign as it rolls off her tongue but God dammit if it’s not the sweetest syllable.
Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
February 5
It slips out withoutresistance.Sir.I’m not sure if he was actually looking for me to call him anything specific or anything at all. I don’t really know what to think. I’m not even sure if I am thinking at this point but I know this is everything I was missing.
“Again,” Nolan says.
Maybe I’m not cut out for this, time has barely ticked by since I laid back on the table and yet an eternity appears to have lapsed. “Nolan, I don’t know—”
“If you need to stop, use your safe word.” He waits, sitting in his chair like it’s a throne. Nolan holds my gaze. Where my eyes are pleading, his are determined and with that, I fall deeper into my own lust.
I don’t move and I don’t want to use the word. I want to come. I want his hands on me. I want him. I want a thousand things all at the same time, things I didn’t even know were possible to want.
My fingers find my clit again, swollen and aching. I’ve done this countless times, under the cover of darkness in my own room and never in front of anyone. Each breath is sharper than the last, each swirl shoots electricity through my soul. My toes curl and I know I’m seconds away from tumbling blindly into euphoria. “Please,” I breathe into the quiet house.
Finally Nolan’s hands are on me, roaming up my legs, spreading me wider, right to the edge of pain but I’m still blissfully drowning in technicolor pleasure. Bright, swirling hues bloom behind my lids and I’m breathing in colors I’ve never seen before. “You’re beautiful, Harper. The type of woman men crawl across deserts for. The typeof woman men start wars over. My type of woman,” his voice thick with unmistakable devotion. When he stands, the metal from his belt clinks and the soft undeniable sound of his zipper lowering fills my ears like a symphony. Nolan settles between my legs, and as if this is our daily routine, my legs find their home around his waist.
“Stop.”
I whine but follow his order.
“You’ve done so well, but I need to be inside of you. I have to feel you or I might go mad.” I can feel him notch the tip of his cock at my entrance.
Fire blazes along my skin, dancing across my chest and down my stomach, settling deep in my core I feel alive. “Please, Nolan. Please, plea—” I beg with a sobbing breath that fractures on the last word.
He swipes himself through the obscene wetness coating my center and dripping down my thighs. I need him. I need him like air. I need him like religion, a singular deity to hang all my hopes and dreams on.
My eyes crack open enough to watch as he enters me. One swiftly, until his entire length is inside of me, I force my eyes to stay open and revel in the bliss overcoming his features.
“I could live here,” he says to the ceiling, slowly dragging his cock out before pushing it back in. “Inside of you is better than any heaven I’ll end up in.”
Nolan replaces my fingers with his own. He swipes his thumb once across me and I nearly explode.
Twice.
Three agonizingly slow passes before he drags his length out of me again and slides back in. Nolan drags my finishing line further and further away. He snaps into me with a relentless pace, before stalling and going back to thumbing my clit. Keeping this patterning until I’m a mess of nearly incoherent noises.
