She laughs again. “One night here doesn’t make anyone an expert. It usually takes quite a few times before someone walks in here confidently.”
“How long did it take you? Assuming your business isn’t the first club you’ve been to.”
“You assume correctly,” she answers before pondering my question for a moment. “I come from a very religious family where sex is not only not talked about but is viewed as something married couples are expected to do to produce children and that’s it. It wasn’t until I was in my earlythirties that I started to explore my sexualityandsensuality. Then it was a long time after that when I became really comfortable with who I was.”
Looking at the woman next to me, I would think she was always like this; strong, commanding, exuding the type of confidence people search their whole lives for. It’s humbling to know how similar we may be.
I sigh and look back at the crowd. “My family isn’t religious, I fear my hesitation is purely internalized. Like I shouldn’t want towantto be here.”
Maxine looks over at me, even in my heels, she still has to look down slightly. Dark eyes study me as a soft smile plays at her lips. “As long as it’s whatyouwant. That’s the beauty of all of this.” She waves around the room. “We can be whoever we want.”
A nervous laugh expels past my lips. “You make it sound so easy.”
She leans over and whispers, “It can be.”
Who am I to argue with an expert?
We spend the next minute in silence, people watching before she speaks again. “Eros should be here soon and asked me to show you to his room.”
At the mention of his name, my heart skips and my stomach clenches. Standing around with Maxine, I almost forgot about him.
Almost.
Maxine slips her hand into mine and I follow her through the main room. A few people stop and watch us, their eyes jumping between our faces and where our hands are joined with a longing look. Not necessarily jealous butI got the impression from a few of the people we passed, men and women, that they would do anything to be the person Maxine was leading back to the rooms.
It makes me curious about what she might be like behind closed doors. To command that type of attention, fully clothed, would make me dizzy I think, but she was made for it.
We walk a familiar short path and she unlocks the same door and allows me to enter past her. “Thank you, Maxine,” I say, hoping she knows it's for more than just showing me to the room. Every time I talk to her, it ends up a bit deeper than I intend but she never makes me feel like I’m intruding.
“You’re so welcome, Psyche. Have a good night.” She pulls the door closed behind her.
Alone in the room, my heartbeat begins to take off at a rapid pace. With no mask to hide behind, I suddenly feel more exposed than I expected.
What if he walks in and hates what he sees? What if our last time together was a fluke? What if the mask gave me more confidence than I really possess and tonight ends up one huge disappointment?
What if he’s ugly?
I’m not a shallow person, or at least not more than the average person, but I don’t know if I would be able tofinish if I’m looking at someone who I don’t find attractive. No matter how good his cock is.
Okay, maybe that did make me shallow.
I need to get it together, before I start spiraling.
I move to the bathroom to give myself a final once over. It’s not the dress from the open house but it's as tight, and even shorter, hugging the tops of my thighs. One slight bend and everything would be on display, which is kind of the point. Pulling off the long coat I wore over the top for that exact reason, I toss it to the side and lean closer toward the mirror.
Makeup is still in place, hair still full of curls.
The faint sound of the doorknob turning catches my attention. Butterflies take flight in my stomach.
A creak of the door. Flames erupt under my skin.
Heavy footsteps approach behind me. Euphoria trickles through my veins in anticipation.
“Psyche,” Eros' deep timber voice calls out.
I can’t see him in the mirror but he’s here. He’s here, and every ounce of hesitation evaporates.
“Eros,” I call out, quickly turning around, stepping out of the bathroom, meeting him face-to-face.
