“Did you ever think about getting married?” There was a craving to know everything about him, every detail he was willing to spare, I’d gladly take. Anything that would allow me to get closer to him.
“Not really. I’ve dated, obviously, but nothing ever lasted. We’d get a few months in, and I’d begin to think it could last or that I could love them. Then it would fizzle out or something would happen, and we’d break up.”
He stood, pulling me with him. “Nothing haseverfelt like this,“ he said, keeping my hand laced with his while he bared his truth to me. How did you respond to a statement like that? A statement that had me flushed with panic over all the complications that came with falling in love.
Sometimes, life had a way of revealing that I was on the right path when I least expected it. My eyes drifted towards the daffodils. All I had to do was stop and smell the flowers.
He left me for the day after I promised I was better, and soon I was alone with only my thoughts. I would never grow out of who I was if I didn’t take the risk, and the broken pieces of my heart fit so well in his hands.
thirty-two
Lennon
Castello Di Amorosa wasbeautiful, and I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out why I hadn’t heard about it before now. Theo drove the car through the winding driveway until the castle came into view.
It was exactly what your mind conjures up when someone says castle. The stone walls and towers were all I saw once we were past the towering cypress trees. I’d never been to Italy, but we seemed to have stepped into a little piece of Tuscany’s countryside.
We were in the grapevines for the last part of the day, that way the sun was setting behind the winery. Theo was setting up his equipment while I laid back onto my hands on a blanket I had spread out.He was pulling out tripods, lenses, and a whole host of other devices I couldn't name and began to assemble it all for use. I’d been referring to myself as his assistant throughout the day, butreally, I’d done nothing except walk slowly behind him as I took in the craftsmanship of the castle site.
“Taking a well-earned break, I see.” Reason number I-couldn’t-remember that I liked being around him: the playfulness.
“Union fifteen,” I answered, as I relaxed back onto my hands, with my sandals crossed in front of me. Thankfully, I had put some effort into my outfit this morning. The simple black sundress hit mid calf but had been riding up the longer I lounged on the ground. His gaze tracked up and down my body slowly before he blinked and turned back to his work. The movement sent a heat wave through my core.
The sky was painted in soft pinks and oranges as the sun cast the last of its shining rays over the castle. Theo snapped away, and for the next hour, only silence surrounded us. I was content in watching him work in comfortable silence. Nothing but the sound of the wind and the soft clicks of his camera were in the air.
He began to pack his equipment away, and I took that as my cue to gather my stuff so we could head to dinner. That was when I saw him reach into his bag and pull out his Pentax 67. I still had a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that he still had that old thing. He walked toward me with a sly smile on his face as I reached down and picked up the blanket I had been lounging on.
“Smile,” he said as he pointed the lens in my direction.
“Oh no, don’t waste your film on me.” I turned my back on him as I swatted him away.
“Just one picture. I’ll eventually get a place of my own and I’ll need something to go on my nightstand,” he said to plead his case.
How could I say no?
I turned back around and threw my arms out to the side in compliance. The castle and most of the vineyard were behind me, offering the perfect background. I’m awkward, and I had no idea what to do with my hands, so I waited for his direction. “You look beautiful,” he announced, and my insides melted. He snapped the photo as the words hit my ears and a grin spread across my face. I stood there watching him watch me through his lens and I couldn’t imagine a better place to be.
“Is there a way to take one of both of us? My nightstand could use a photo, too, you know.” He set down his camera and rifled through his bag.
I didn’t want to think about the fact that our nightstands might never be in the same room. These past few months have been like a fever dream and it’s been easy to forget that he’s here on assignment. This was not his home. I’m not his home. But if he’s going to leave, then I’m going to soak up every ounce of happiness I could get.
“Unfortunately, not with this one. You need someone to move the shutter. But...” he trails off as he pulls out his standard camera, “this one is connected to my phone so we can both be in the frame, and I can still get the shot.”
He set up the tripod and placed the camera on top. He spent a minute behind the lens toying with the settings before joining me. His arm warmed my lower back as he tugged me into his side, andhis breath skated across the curve of my neck before he planted a kiss there.
“When do we say cheese?” I asked, as he smiled against my skin. He pulled back and rested his forehead on mine.
“Ready?” he said as I looked into his impossibly green eyes that seemed to transport me back to the Scottish Highlands. There was a faint click of his camera, but I couldn't tear my eyes from him.
“Perfect.” His voice was low as he dragged his hand slowly up the expanse of my back.
“You haven’t even seen the photo yet,” I replied. We hadn’t moved, and we were so close that our lips were practically touching as we talked. There was no up or down, right or wrong, broken heart or broken soul. In this moment–it was just us.
Everything came to me at once as he brought his lips to meet mine. He had a way of making me whole again, and it was a feeling I wanted to drown in.
“Do you want to order room service for dinner and just go back to the hotel?” I asked, looking anywhere but into his eyes as I acted on the lust that was fogging my brain. I was entirely aware of the insinuation my sentence held, and I had every intention of fully embracing it. By the way his pupils dilated, and his hooded eyes stared into mine, I could tell he was on the exact same page as I was. It didn’t take him long to agree and for us to gather the rest of our things and hightail it back to the car.
We didn’t check in before we came to the winery, so we were entering the room for the first time now; the bed seemed to be a daunting focal point as it loomed in the center of the room. Myhands were shaking as I set my suitcase in the corner and kicked off my sandals and sat on the edge of the bed. Theo was doing the same on the opposite side of the room, and I was almost positive he was looking for things to fidget with so that he didn’t join me.
