“Actually, I have a list of some books I’m looking for. Can I leave it here with you to watch for them when donations come in?” I dug around my purse for the loose piece of paper I had written on.
When I was younger, money of my own was hard to come by that I could spend on books, so I bought them all second hand. That meant sometimes I had to wait longer than others for the book I wanted to come through this store in a donation pile. Which was where the list came in. I had been leaving titles of books I wanted and if she sees them she would set them aside so the next time I’m here I could pick them up.
“Of course, Lennon, I’ll leave it behind the desk.” She took the paper from my hands and shuffled towards the counter.
As I was sifting through the latest donated Danielle Steele novels, my phone chirped from my bag with a new message. A second chirp rang out, immediately followed by a third, causing me to stop and rifle through my purse for my phone. My lips pursed as Theo’s name lit up my screen, but then I read the messages he had sent.
Hey!
I’ve been so busy and feel like I haven’t had a chance to talk to you. But I have great news that I can’t wait to share with you.
I took some assignments in California and I’m moving back to Fairvale. I’ll be home on Friday and I would like to take you to dinner.
I clutched the phone to my chest as a smile tugged at my lips and a fluttering started in my stomach as I read the words over again. Maybe my spiraling was a little bit extreme, because all I could think about was Friday and being able to see him again.
fourteen
Lennon
I’d been rifling throughmy closet for over an hour searching for an outfit that said this wasn’t a date, but I’m so happy to see you, platonically, of course. Nothing jumped out at me, so I settled on comfort clothes as I pulled my jeans up my legs and hopped around a few times to get them past my hips to button them.
The heat had been steadily climbing, and I knew it would be too warm for the sweater I wanted to throw on even if it was night. The bulky sweater would have been enough to hide the parts of my stomach and love handles that spilled out over my jeans. Which is what I would normally gravitate to and I would have felt safe. Instead, I pulled out my favorite rust colored blouse. The sleeves were still long, but they billowed out at the wrist and the light material wouldn’t suffocate or overheat me. The neckline dipped in the front slightly, but was still high enough to remind me that this was not a date.
I’d always been pretty confident in my own body. It wasn’t perfect, it was softer in spots than I would like, there wasn’t a gap between my thighs that constantly rubbed against each other, but it was the only one I had to carry me through life. I tried to be kind to it. My favorite asset, though, was, well, my ass; it tended to draw attention whether I wanted it to or not, and tonight it was living its best life in these jeans. My reflection stared back at me as I shifted from left to right. I bit into my cheek as I tried to hype myself up for this not date.
The nerves in my stomach reminded me a lot of our first dinner, but there was the fact that I had kissed him lingering between us. I didn’t regret it, not in the slightest. I wanted more, he was the one to stop. Which was a moment that would haunt me for the rest of time. But where did we go from there? Was he here for a short time, or was he settling down more permanently? Would I even be able to allow myself the chance to get close to him if I knew he was leaving soon? Probably not.
The turmoil was raging inside of me. Did I really even want to move on with anyone? A few months ago, the immediate answer would be no, absolutely not. Camden was my person, love of my life, soulmate or whatever other cliché saying there is. People walk through this life without ever encountering the type of bond I had with Camden; the likelihood that I came across that again in my lifetime was miniscule.
And if I ever found myself in a relationship again and that man didn’t bring down the stars to light up the room I was in, call me difficult, but I didn’t want it.
By the time I made it to the restaurant, I had chanted, ‘this was not a date, you are just friends,’ more times than I could count. I walked through the door and didn’t see him in the waiting area by the hostess stand or at any of the tables near the front of the restaurant. Panic started setting in, and my hands were sweaty again.
Did I get the date wrong? Did I miss a text saying he was canceling?There were a million scenarios playing out in my head as I gave the hostess Theo’s name. She smiled brightly at me and led me toward a booth in the back because, of course, he didn’t cancel.
He was here early.
He stood from his seat and waited for me to approach the table. It had only been a month, but I somehow forgot how utterly breathtaking he was. My eyes dragged up his fitted dark jeans to his black knit long sleeve shirt. Stopping to admire the way he pushed his sleeves up, leaving his forearms bare. What a sight he was, even in this dimly lit restaurant. We stood there, looking at each other, before I remembered to sit.
Fairvale was on the smaller side, with not many places to eat, and Riverside House was the nicest place we had for dinner. Celebrating—Riverside House, Prom—Riverside House, need a nice place to take your wife to dinner since you made her mad earlier—Riverside House—you get it. We’d been in this exact place before, and I wondered if he was remembering the same night that I was.
Theo and I had been dating for a few months when he said he wanted to do something special, and for two seventeen-year-olds, this was the place. My face heated up as I remembered the rest ofthe night, when he had stripped us of our clothes and laid me down in the backseat of the car. It wasn’t picture perfect, but I knew I was loved in a way that would follow me for a lifetime, and that was everything I could have hoped for.
His throat bobbed as he took a sip of his water. Even that slight movement had me blushing. I couldn’t tell if I welcomed the heat, as everything about him set my nerve endings on fire.
Get a hold of yourself, Lennon.
Every time I tried to think of something to say, my brain would go fuzzy. My fingertips rubbed against the white cotton tablecloth that was draped across our table as my eyes roamed the area around us. The river flowed gently below us, breaking only where it hit large rocks along the shore and trees lined the edge for as far as I could see. A candle sat in the middle of the table. The flickering light mocked my lack of words. My gaze flicked up, only to be met with Theo already looking back at me.
Then he smiled. It was like the tension inside me wound tighter and lessened at the same time.
I snatched up my menu to give my hands something to do and skimmed over the words in front of me while I tried to come up with something to say. “Your mom seems really excited to be living in Fairvale again.” I peered at him from over my menu in time to see his brows pull inward and his head shift backwards a bit. “My mom, when did you see her?” His head cocked to the side, and there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.
I smiled as I bit into my straw before answering. “Last week. I was at dinner with Abby and a friend when she and your dad wereleaving the restaurant. She came by to say hi and let me in on your secret that you were coming back to town. I was surprised she even remembered me, let alone what I look like.”
“You are unforgettable, Lennon. That, and they were subject to eighteen-year-old me whose favorite subject was you.” The comment fell off his tongue with little effort. As if it’s a known fact to anyone that would listen.
How does he do that? It was always the simplest sentences that sent me reeling once they left his mouth. Every word was sincere and had this ability to relax and heighten my anxiety all at once, but I wouldn’t deny that roller coasters have always been my favorite.
