“No, no one new.” Not technically a lie. If I mentioned Lennon, a million more questions would have followed. None of whichI had the capacity to answer, and I wanted to keep Lennon to myself.
“You should get out there more, Theodore. You’re a catch, and any woman would be lucky to be by your side.”
“Okay Ma. I love you and I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“I love you, too, son.”
She meant well, but I didn’t know how she would react if she found out that I wasn’t tied down to anyone because of Lennon. Whether I knew it or not, I had been comparing everyone to her. Honestly, my mom wouldn't be all that surprised. Lennon was everything to me back then and just because I left didn’t mean my world stopped evolving around her, at least not at first. My mother was the one that helped pick up the mess I had made with my life. She was well versed in the depths of my feelings for her.
I had one more call to make, one that had my stomach in knots. It wasn’t someone I talked to often, but we’d kept in touch throughout the years. She was the only person who could help me with my Lennon situation, and she was the best person I could have in my arsenal.
She answered on the first ring. “Well, well, well. I’ve been wondering how long it would take for you to call me.” Her voice mocked me through the receiver.
“What’s up, Abigail?”
thirteen
Lennon
By the time fiveo’clock rolled around, I was halfway through a mental breakdown at work and wishing I could frisbee my laptop out the window. I had been in a slump since my trip nearly three weeks ago, and I couldn’t seem to find my way out of the post-vacation depression hole I was in.
Within the hour, I was slipping into a worn plastic booth next to Abby. The smell of spices and hot peppers assaulted my senses, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. The waitress dropped off chips and salsa, and I didn’t hesitate to reach for the basket.
Abby had launched into a re-telling of my trip to our friend and if my mouth was full, I wouldn’t be put on the spot to answer, hopefully. Luckily, I never told Abby about the kiss or the tension filled dinner, so it was all pretty harmless.
“So, you’re telling me that you spent two weeks alone with a gorgeous photographer in a foreign country and did what? Nothing?Talk?” Carina said as she tossed her hands up in front of her. Carina was as straightforward as they came and had no problem saying exactly what was on her mind.
After Camden died, I pulled away from everyone, but Carina did what she does best and kept bullying her way into my life. Even when I fought her, she showed up, and kept showing up until I accepted the help she was offering. It was a quality that I would always be grateful for. But now, if she kept pushing, I was liable to spill everything that did happen, and I was not ready to unpack those feelings in front of other people.
“How do you know he’s gorgeous? He could be ugly for all you know.”
“I know things.”
“You know things.”
“He’s a photographer,” she said with an eye roll. “Obviously, he has social media, and obviously I looked him up the second I found out you spent two weeks alone with him.”
I shoveled another chip into my mouth and shrugged as she narrowed her eyes in my direction. I couldn’t help the smirk playing on my lips before I burst out laughing.
“It was a great trip, but nothing happened, okay?”
“But why not?”
“Because, Carina.”
There was a tightness forming in the middle of my chest, and I absentmindedly reached my hand up to rub the spot. I didn’t want to talk about how much I wanted to do more, but at the same time,even the thought of being with anyone other than Camden sent me into a spiral.
The issue was maybe I was reading into Theo too much when we were together, that maybe want that was bubbling up inside me was solely one sided. Even if it wasn’t, what could we possibly expect to do when he bounced from one country to another while I hadn’t moved from our hometown?
There was also a part of me, an echo in the back of my mind, that said no one would ever want a woman with so much baggage. A dead husband must be one of the top reasons not to date a woman, I would assume.
The conversation was steered away from me and on to Carina’s latest conquest—she was perpetually single and preferred it that way. The waitress, who was dropping off our third round of margaritas, was blushing from the tail end of Carina’s story when an older couple walked by our table on their way to the door.
I was pulling the straw up to my lips, trying to stifle a laugh, as I glanced up out of habit and caught the eye of the woman. Her eyes widened as she stopped in front of our table as I continued to gape at her. “Lennon Faulkner.” My maiden name rolled off her tongue so quickly I didn’t realize she was talking about me until I registered who she was.
I forgot how much Theo looked like his mom—same brown hair, striking green eyes, and that smile. She beamed at me as I finally remembered to close my mouth. I wiped my hands down the front of my jeans to rid myself of the sudden onset of sweat.My heart dropped a little when I did a quick scan of the restaurant. Theo wasn’t with them.
Although, I guessed that was a good thing. He would have told me that he would be in town.
