I sigh. “Yeah,” I admit quietly. This is the closest I’ve come to asking for help, and it doesn’t leave as bad a taste as I expected.
“Why didn’t you just ask me that? I’ll do it.”
I shake my head. “It’s early mornings, late nights, long trips. A nine-year-old who’s equal parts rowdy and scared.”
“I get it, Si. But it’s Aubrey. She’s the best kid on the planet.”
“She asked if you were going to leave her,” I say, not softening the words.
The heartbreak on her face nearly undoes me, but I need her to understand how serious I am about this. Aubrey can’t handle losing her again. If I’m being honest, neither can I.
“So, it is about trust.”
I shrug.
“The best I can give you,” she says, “is that I won’t abandon her. Even if I leave Steele Valley, I’ll stay in touch. I can’t leave that little girl behind a second time.”
I swallow hard as the weight of her words settles in my chest. I want to believe her—God, I do—but I can’t stop the what-ifs running through my mind.
“I didn’t mean to leave her last time, you know?” she continues before I can speak. “Everything was too fresh. I loved spending time with her as a baby, but I was drowning. I was jealous that people who never wanted kids got to bring this perfect angel into the world when I couldn’t give you that.” Her voice trembles. “Years of therapy helped. I still never want to go through pregnancy again, but she’s part of why I came home. I hoped she wouldn’t remember those early days. Guess I wasn’t that lucky.”
There’s a strength in her voice I haven’t heard in a long time. It’s shaky but real. And that sparks a little bit of hope that we might all survive this.
“Aubrey may still say no. I haven’t really talked to her about it.”
“I get that. I don’t know everything that’s happened, but clearly she’s been struggling.”
“She might talk to you,” I admit. “I don’t get much out of her.”
“Is she seeing anyone? A therapist, child psychiatrist?”
I shake my head. “No. We tried in the beginning, but she refused to get out of the truck. Her doctor says as long as the nightmares are less frequent, we’re doing okay.”
“I’ll do it if she’s in,” Oakley says firmly. “Driving’s the only thing I’m really limited in, and my mom’s right around the corner if we need anything.”
“You comfortable staying at my place?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
I shrug, unsure. Nervous, if I’m honest.
“Let’s go talk to Aubrey and make sure she’s good with it.”
We step back into the room just as Aubrey finishes packing away her tablet and keyboard.
“Bubs!”
“Get all your work done, little miss?”
She nods, grinning. “Hannah and Oakley helped me get ahead on math. Now I don’t have to do any numbers until next week!”
“That’s awesome, Aubs.” I glance at Hannah. “Thanks again for today.”
“You know I’m always around if you need me. Family first.” She slings her bag over her shoulder and starts for the door. “Feel free to chat in here. I’m making the hubs take me to lunch before he replays your preseason disaster.” She winks.
When the door closes, I look at Aubrey. “Did you finish this week’s other assignments, bug?”
“You betcha. I know all my spelling words, did my reading, got ahead on math, and finished science worksheets. Now I don’t have to take school stuff with us.”
