“No. Kinda. I want to fuck himandI’m obsessed with him, but that’s all.” I stand, walk over, and squeeze his shoulders. “Stop trying to understand me. It’s impossible.”
Cil chuckles.
“Actually…want to go shopping with me? I want to buy something.”
“Sure. Kitten is in class for a while still. He has my car. What are we getting?”
“Panties.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Cil stands. “I thought you were only fuckinghim.” He sayshimlike it’s a word he hates.
“I am.” Since we talked about it at his place that last time, Shai never brought it up again and neither have I, but I want them. “Just him, I mean.”
We put our coats on, then head out to my car. It’s cold as fuck outside, but I’m so used to it that it’s easy to ignore.
“I’m confused,” Cil says. “He wears them?”
“Nope. I will.” I pump my brows.
“No shit?” We climb in. “That’s kinda hot.”
“Right? I thought so too. I’m just trying to find that thing, ya know?” We let the car idle and warm up.
“What thing? The sex isn’t good? You said it was.”
I’m thankful for this conversation with him, that even though Cillian hasn’t come around from hating Shai yet, it doesn’t change who he is to me. “The sex is fucking incredible.It’s just…fuck, you know me, always searching for more, more, more.” More feeling, more excitement, more danger, more everything.
“Yeah, I know, Ror,” he says, a tinge of worry in his voice.
“I’m fine.”
“But what if you’re not fine one day?”
“I’ll always be fine,” I lie.
He sighs but doesn’t press.
We head to campus first, pulling along the back, where people know to find us. There’s a line of five people waiting to get to the car. One at a time, they come up to the window, and Cillian gives them whatever they ask for—coke, molly, ketamine, we have it all.
The guy lingering at the back of the line is pacing, looking nervous. When everyone is gone, he comes over, bending down close to the window.
“Hey, Rory, Cillian.”
I recognize him, I’ve sold to him a lot, but don’t know his name. “We’ve got shit to do. What do you want?” I ask.
He fidgets, which puts me on high alert. “I wanted to see if you could front me a little bit? I need some shit for this guy, but I don’t have enough cash. I’m good for it. I swear. You know I am.”
Who the fuck does he think he is? “Do we look like a fucking bank?” I ask, then turn to Cillian. “He thinks we’re a fucking bank.”
“We don’t do loans,” Cil adds.
“Dude. I’ve bought a lot of shit from you over the years. You can’t front me this one time? Fuck you.”
He tries to pull away, but I grab his hair, tugging his head into the car, then hit the button for the window to go up. He tries to pull out of my grip, but he can’t, and I don’t let him go until the window is holding his head in the car.
“What the fuck did you say to us?” I ask, putting the car in Drive and starting to move.
“Rory…dude. What the fuck are you doing?”
