I know they all worry about me because, well, because I’m me, but also because of my parents. My father was hard to control, and then he got himself murdered doing dumb shit. Before that, my mom killed herself because she hated this life, yes, but she’d always been depressed. She’d needed help mentally that she never received. So they’re always looking for signs in me.
I’m not my parents because I have them—all of them: Cil, Ollie, Tiernan, Dean, and Ash. Without them…I don’t think any of us want to know where I’d be. “I’m good, T.”
“You can come to me if you’re ever not, okay? It doesn’t have to just be Cillian. We all take care of each other.”
That’s the thing outsiders will never see about us, neverunderstand. I might not be a good man, I might do a lot of bad shit and hurt a lot of people, but I’ll do anything for the people who are mine. All of us would.
“I will.”
I hear a car door close outside, and my attention snaps to it.
Tiernan chuckles. “Go on.”
I shove off the couch to go greet Cillian and Ollie. It’d be stupid to pretend I didn’t miss them, that it felt the same here without them. I think I’ll always feel like that about all of them. We’re a family, and we belong together.
I head outside just as they’re walking toward the house, each carrying a bag. A part of me I haven’t even realized was tense relaxes. Cil and I haven’t been apart like this since I met him when I was five years old.
“Fucking finally. I thought I was going to have to fly to Michigan and bring your asses back home,” I say as they climb the porch stairs.
“Hey, Ror.” Cillian pulls me into a one-armed hug, pressing his lips against my forehead. “I missed you, you fucking idiot.”
I chuckle. He’s definitely going to think that when he finds out what I’ve been up to. “I missed you too.” When we pull apart, I say, “Bunny!” with all the enthusiasm in the world, wrap my arms around Ollie, and lift him. “Please don’t ask me about homework. We’re on winter break.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t study,” he reminds me as I put him down. “But I won’t bug you about it…yet. It’s good to be home.”
I ruffle his blond hair. “It’s good to have you both home. I’ve been so fucking bored,” I say automatically, but…have I really? Maybe when I wasn’t with Shai, but it was easy to forget when I was with him…or following him. “Come on. Let’s go inside. I’m freezing my balls off.”
Dean is downstairs now, Ollie and Cillian saying hello to him and T. Aislin comes over too. All of us—minus Ollie—get high, then order takeout for dinner. The kitchen is loud, just the way I like it, my family gathered for the meal. My house was always quiet growing up, so I like it when we’re loud and together. We didn’t do this when Cillian and Ollie were gone, like we knew it wouldn’t be the same if some of us were missing. We didn’t celebrate Christmas either and plan to do that this weekend.
Cillian is rambling about the things they’d done in Michigan. I know how nervous he’d been about going. What the fuck do any of us know about meeting the parents of someone we’re dating? It’s a foreign concept to us all, but it sounds like Ollie’s dad is a lot like Ollie—loving, accepting, seeing the good in people despite the fact that we have a lot of bad in us—and I’m glad for Cillian.
“So…guess what?” Aislin says when there’s a moment of silence at the table.
“You and Zuri are finally fucking?” I guess.
She rolls her eyes. “Jesus, Rory.”
“What? Are you in love with her or something?”
“No. I didn’t say that, and we’re not fucking, but we did kiss.” She gets hearts in her eyes the way Cil does when it comes to Bunny.
“Aww,” Ollie says.
“Hot,” Dean replies, making Tiernan growl in response. He’s very possessive of Dean. When he first came around, Tiernan would act like that even when Dean spent time with Ash, though Dean is gay.
“You’re not even into girls,” Cil says.
“Yeah, but it’s fun to piss off the little lord.” Dean points to Tiernan with his thumb. “Makes him mark me even harderlater.”
“Okay, gross,” Ash says. “Can we talk about me now? I really, really like her. This is all so new for me.” Aislin has never been with a girl before, and hell, I’m not sure she’s ever really liked a guy either. She came to Ashford U with all these plans to live a normal college experience, but that’s not how things have gone down for her.
“I think it’s sweet,” Ollie says.
“Good for you, Ash,” Cil agrees.
She looks at her brother, and Tiernan says, “I’m glad she’s not a dude. Because then I’d have to kill him.”
“You’re such a dick,” she tells him.
