“Then if we’re all a family, we do this together.”
“You’re mine to protect,” I snap.
“Doing this, we’re protecting each other.” He places his hand on my leg, and somehow, the simple touch slows the rapid pace of my heart, settles the blood rushing through my ears, quiets the questions echoing in my head. As much as I want to do this, as much as I want to be the one to save Katfor Shai, as much as the bloodlust for Jagger’s death is now a constant thrum beneath my skin…I know he’s right. I put him more at risk if it’s just us, and I’ll hurt him if I die…because he loves me. I can’t live with myself if I hurt him.
My every instinct is on high alert, every part of me telling me to go, defend, protect, kill, but I want to be good for him, for us. I want to do the right thing.
“Okay,” I say softly. “Let’s go home.”
Shai’s hand doesn’t leave my thigh as we’re driving. He’s scared for his mom but unwavering in trying to comfort me. I thread our fingers together; give him the same reassurance he’s giving me.
It feels like there’s a ticking time bomb in the car with us, Shai’s other hand gripping his phone. Every few seconds his eyes are drawn to it as I hurry us back to the house. The moment we’re inside, Cillian takes one look at us and shoves to his feet. “What’s wrong?”
“My mom…” Shai’s voice breaks.
Tiernan and Dean’s attention snaps to us, and Ollie’s already walking toward Shai. Aislin is here as well, but luckily Zuri isn’t with her, so I can speak freely.
“His father has her,” I answer for him. “We don’t know where. He’s supposed to let us know soon, and then he wants to take Shai with him. That’s not happening. I’m sure he’s in planning mode. He must not know who I am, but there’s no doubt he can tell something is up by the way I responded when he threatened Shai.”
“Does your mom know about us?” Tiernan asks.
“Not that I know of,” Shai says. “I didn’t tell her anything. It wouldn’t be hard for her to have figured out, though.” Ollie stands beside him now, arm threaded through Shai’s, offering him comfort. The buzz beneath my skin is toostrong, and I hate that I don’t know if I can do that right now for him.
“I’m killing the motherfucker,” I say. “The only reason I’m here is because Shai stopped me from going on my own. I know you have a lot of shit on your plate, T. I know you take responsibility for all of us and weigh pros and cons and all that shit, but I’m relieving you of your responsibility to me. I’m going whether you think it’s a good idea or not, whether I go alone or not, and if I die, then that’s on me. You have no burden to bear.”
“No,” Shai says. “Fuck that, you’re not—”
“I’m going with him,” Cillian cuts him off, startling me. Cillian’s fucking loyal to Tiernan. It takes a lot for him to question his cousin. The fact that he would go against Tiernan’s wishes, if that’s what T decides… “Cil…”
“Shut the fuck up, Rory. I’m going and you know it.” And then Cillian turns his intense gaze on Shai, watches him as Shai stands there, arm threaded with Ollie’s. “Shai is ours. We’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—we protect what’s ours.”
Yes, we do.
“Am I that big of an asshole that you’d think I would deny you this?” Tiernan asks.
“No,” I answer. “It wouldn’t be because you’re an asshole; it would be because you love us.” This isn’t like walking into a fight we’ve scoped out for weeks or months. This is going in blind, which is always dangerous.
Tiernan rolls his eyes, but there’s a small smile on his lips. “You didn’t have to say the words.” But they’re true. We all know they are. “We’ll do this. As a family. The way it’s supposed to be.” And that easily, Tiernan’s word is law.
“I’ll help any way I can,” Ash says.
Dean focuses on my guy. “Tell us everything we need to know about your father.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Shai
I’ve never felta part of something bigger than myself, of a real family, until tonight. That’s not what I should be thinking about—my mom has been kidnapped, has been hurt, and for all I know, she might not even be alive anymore—yet I’m sitting here obsessing about how it feels to belong.
We’ve gone over a million scenarios, yet the truth remains, we have no idea what we’re walking into. It’s hard to prepare when we don’t know what we’re preparing for. Does Jagger know who they are? Does he have more than his two ever-present bodyguards with him, and if so, how many more? Ten? Twenty? I really don’t see him coming to Ashford with a large entourage, but he’s also unpredictable, and he must have connections I don’t know about. Is it possible he has some close enough to Ashford? All we have is unanswered questions.
Dean has tried to track my mom’s cell. It was off, so he couldn’t, but he did find where it last pinged. We scoped the area, but it only had an abandoned building, so it’s not where he’s keeping her.
“I’d rather go in with too many men than not enough,” Dean says.
“Conan will come,” Tiernan answers.
“Even if it gets him into trouble with Rian?” Ollie asks. Iwas surprised he stayed for the discussion. He mentioned preferring not to know the details, but this time, he chose to stay. Cillian hasn’t let go of his hand the whole time, comforting his boyfriend while we discuss things that could get us all killed. Another stab of guilt hits me.
