“I’ll talk…fuck, I’ll talk!”
He’s losing blood, he’s pale and weak, but he talks. He’sworking with a guy named Jay, who’s the middleman, but Axel doesn’t know who for—apparently, someone who thinks it’s a good idea to start making money inourtown. Every time he starts boring or annoying me, I hit him, kick him, stab him. Chandler’s crying, huddled in a ball, asking us to let him go.
Eventually, Tiernan is over it and decides we’re not going to get anything else out of him. Once we get codes for the safes and get them open, he nods at me again. “Make it quick.”
I walk straight over to Axel, press my gun against his head, and pull the trigger, blood splashing the wall behind him.
“Sorry,” I tell Chandler, before doing the same to him.
I wait for the quiet to come, for me to step it down a notch, but that doesn’t happen. I’m still buzzing, nearly fucking twitching with energy.
“You good?” Cillian asks me.
“I’m good.”
“Conan is on his way,” T says. “He’s staying here tonight. He’ll help deal with this, and then he’s meeting with his contact at Ashford PD. If there’s a dirty cop with something to hide, Conan will sniff them out and use it for our benefit.” Tiernan tosses Cillian his keys. “The two of you get out of here. We’ll wait for Conan.”
I have no idea how they plan to deal with the shit that went down tonight, and honestly, I don’t care. I trust them to make sure it’s handled. I have no interest in being involved in that side of it.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Cil says.
“We will,” Dean replies. “I’ll follow you out and lock up behind you.”
We clean up real quick, Cillian and I making it out ofthere without seeing anyone. This isn’t the kind of place where they’ll call anyone because it’s closed. No one who comes to The Dove wants anything to do with the cops.
“You’re still buzzing,” Cil says when we’re in the car.
“Yeah, I don’t know why.”
“You probably just need your boy. I get like that after. Just want my kitten, ya know?”
I grin. “Yeah, I know.” I hesitate a moment. “Can I ask you something?”
“Has there ever been a time you couldn’t?”
Good point. “How do I learn to control myself better? I want to be good for Shai.”
“I think he would argue you’re good for him now. He gets you, and you get him. On the surface, would most people say I’m good for Ollie?”
“Fuck them.”
Cil laughs. “They wouldn’t, but I am. Shai doesn’t want you to change, but he does want you safe—we all do. I don’t have the answers, though. You know I’m always here to help any way I can.”
“But like…you let Ollie out of your sight without losing it. How do you do that? I would literally stalk Shai twenty-four seven if I could.”
“It’s not easy. I want to be with him all the time and protect him, but I have to…”
“Control that urge. How?” I need some fucking instructions.
“You just try…do it. I wish I had a better answer for you. Shai can ground you, Ror. I’ve seen it. When you’re in that space, getting lost in your head, in all that anger, focus on him. Find him or me. We’ll always bring you back.”
He’s right. They will. Maybe I should feel weird about that, about needing them that way, but I don’t.
“Do you think we’ll ever…the four of us…”
“You’re full of questions tonight,” is all he says at first, hedging. “Watching the two of you was hot, but it wasn’t…”
“Enough.”
