A series of pictures followed. There we were as kids, at our first international competition. Good Lord, I looked young. I didn’t have curves and I suspected that I was supposed to still be wearing my retainer twenty-four seven at that point. Dom was talking into a microphone and I was looking up at him in adoration. I definitely had a crush on him then. I had also been too shy to talk to reporters. Him stepping up to answer the questions after our skate had felt like a heroic move. Then there were pictures taken from our social media pages, including the two of us in Red Square and one somebody had taken of us clinking together glasses of champagne after the World Championships.
Things in the video started to blur together for me. An interview, where we had laughed and insisted that we were friends and had only ever been friends. We had exchanged a knowing look, since it was always a matter of time before that question came up in interviews. We would sometimes bet on how long it would take. But for people watching, apparently it had been taken as a sign that we were lying to the interviewer. There were more clips of us skating while staring at each other, then more pictures one of us had posted where we were having fun off the ice.
Just before the video ended, there was the pictures from the previous summer. The ones that had bothered Brandon so much, of Dom and I laughing with our actual dates nowhere in sight. In hindsight, maybe he hadn't been completely crazy to be concerned. That day had helped to illustrate how Dom and I enjoyed the same things, while he and Emma didn’t. He hadn’t had as much fun as I’d hoped that day. Having the pictures of Dom and I, happier and more relaxed when it was just the twoof us than we had been all day with our dates, had been like rubbing salt in the wound.
When the video finished, I leaned back and thought about what I had seen. Most of the things that this person thought of as signs of my bond with Dom were just us being ourselves. There were a couple of times that I was surprised by the affection on Dom’s face when he watched me, but for the most part the things that were shown just felt like normal interactions to me. That knowledge was surprisingly effective at calming my nerves. People thought we had chemistry, even when we weren’t trying to. I didn’t need to stress about being sexy or needing to work to show that I felt a pull towards Dom. I just needed to do what I had been doing all along.
Chapter 32
Chapter 32
Thepairseventwasthe final figure skating event of the competition. By the time Dom and I were done preparing for our main competition, the one we had dreamt of for so long, nearly all of our teammates had already finished. He and I had watched as Elodie, Grace, Nick, Blake, Jonas, Alexa, Seth, Sierra, and Ben had competed in the previous three disciplines. We had worn our team jackets and sat with all of the other skaters, waving our flags and cheering at the top of our lungs whenever one of our teammates was on the ice. Since we were so far from home, it was difficult for everyone's friends and families to come watch them in person. We had to be there for each other. We trained in different areas, but there was a sense of camaraderie. There was no way to accurately describe what we were doing to anyone who had not done it themselves. Because of that, I felt a strong bond with everyone else who had qualified. I wanted to support them, and I knew they would support Dom and me when our turn came.
The short program was scheduled to start in the early afternoon, but I suspected everyone had arrived at the rinkshortly after breakfast. At least, it felt like there were twenty pairs of skaters and their entourages bustling around. There was hardly anywhere to go for a bit of privacy or for last minute preparations. You had to do your best to ignore everything around you and focus despite the nervous energy and noise that flowed through the building.
Dom and I had settled in the same side corridor I had found Elodie on the night when she was skating for the team competition. We had done everything that we needed to do. Olga had talked to us immediately after we arrived. For once, she’d had no constructive feedback or advice. Instead, she had placed a slender hand against my cheek. “You will make us proud,” she said. She looked between Dom and me as she spoke. “You are the crowd’s favourite pair. They know you are special.” She walked to Dom and gave his forearm a squeeze. “You will win.”
Her words left me speechless. She was difficult to please and always saw room for improvement. To hear such resolute support from her meant more than I could say.
“I hope we don’t let you down,” Dom said. His eyes hadn’t moved from her hand on his arm. He sounded as surprised as I felt.
When Olga left, Dom’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Who do you think that was and what has she done with Olga?”
I grinned. “Maybe she is going soft after so much success this year.” Unsurprisingly, Katya Pavlova had won gold in the women’s event. Between that and our gold in the team event, Olga had already coached somebody to victory in two of the four completed events.
Mark had talked to us half an hour after Olga. Whereas she had been more positive and calm than usual, the stress of competition was written on Mark’s face. There were dark circles under his eyes, which stood out against his pale skin. He had been thinking of nothing but the events he was coachingfor weeks. For all the comments he had made over the years about us needing to treat our bodies well, he clearly wasn’t following that advice. He looked as though he'd averaged less than five hours of sleep a night since we arrived. He certainly was drinking caffeine like someone who couldn't tell you the last time he was rested.
Mark didn't bother exchanging pleasantries when he walked in. “How are you two feeling?” he asked. He was clutching a cup of coffee like it was his lifeline.
“Much calmer than I thought I would be,” I said. It was true. Despite the amount of pressure I had felt all year, I had a sense of peace. I couldn’t believe that it was watching a ridiculous fan-made video that had finally convinced me to stop thinking everything through so much. Dom’s assertion that we had caused problems by overthinking helped, but actually seeing what people liked about our past skates had taken so much pressure off my shoulders. They liked when we were ourselves. Every time I second guessed something, I repeated that to myself.
Mark’s blue eyes were quizzical, but he didn’t push. He probably worried he would make things worse if he implied that I shouldn’t be calm. “Dominic?”
“I’m good,” he assured our coach. “I’ve been working on my smoulder. Look.” He demonstrated an exaggerated seductive look. “I think it’s flawless.”
I held back a giggle. “That is very natural,” I said sarcastically. “Nobody would think that is you putting on an act.”
“Obviously,” he said.
Mark looked between us as though we had lost our minds. Maybe we had. Maybe the reason I wasn’t feeling the pressure was because I had finally cracked under it all. “Well, if you’re in good spirits, I won’t bother you. You know how to reach me if you need anything before go time.”
Dom and I would be skating with the last group of skaters because we were ranked so highly. To divide the pairs evenly, there would be four flights of five pairs. After the warmup for our flight, we would be in the middle. First Williams and Coleman would skate, followed by Levedeva and Sorokin. Dom and I would follow them, sandwiched between the two Russian teams. We would be followed by Petrova and Rybakov. Then Yang and Shen would finish the short programs.
Since there were fifteen other pairs skating before that, we had extra time to prepare. The locker room was suffocating with so many people in it, so I was reluctant to use it before the first two flights of skaters started drifting out. I had to be ready ahead of time, but so did they. That gave me some breathing room and some much-appreciated space.
I flew through getting ready. My hand was steady as I put on my makeup. After how much I’d struggled earlier in the season, it was funny. This was the most important of all the skates, but I was calm. It had taken me this long to finally be completely confident that we didn’t need to worry about anyone else. The program was designed to play up our strengths. All I had to do was stay out of my own way.
I shimmied into my dress in the chaos, ignoring everyone around me. I didn’t want to focus on what they were doing. The only thing I wanted to do before we were called was get back to Dom. Being in our little bubble was so much more appealing than staring down the competition. The pairs that had the best odds of beating us had also skated in the team event. It had helped me to shake off some of my nerves, and I assumed it had done the same for them. I didn’t want to see them freaking out or exceptionally calm. Either extreme reaction could ruin my own peace.
I examined myself in the mirror when I felt done. My hair was slicked back, stiff from an obscene amount of hairspray.My makeup was as close to flawless as I could get it, short of hiring a professional. I had examined my skating dress closely the previous evening, making sure that there wasn’t anything coming undone or marked up, so I wasn’t worried about that. I’d also thought it was smartest to get a brand new pair of tights to take care of that potential problem. Everything looked right. My war paint was on to help me give the performance of my life.
I grabbed my red team jacket from the hook it was hanging on. I slipped it on, double-checked that I had my headphones and my phone safely stowed in the pockets, and made my way out of the locker room to meet up with Dom.
He was waiting a few feet down the hall, as he had promised. Something on his phone was absorbing his attention, so he didn’t notice I was there until I was right next to him. “Hey,” I said.
His head jerked up. “You’re done already?” he asked.
It seemed unnecessary to ask. I spread my arms and gestured to what I was wearing. “Looks like it,” I said. “Unless you think I forgot something.”
