It was a dangerous subject, but curiosity got the best of me. “Do you think it was? Just because of proximity, that is?”
“No,” he replied without hesitation. He looked up. “Do you?”
“No,” I admitted. “I was so worried about what would happen after that I pushed it down and didn’t let myself think about it. Until you started that conversation, I think I was doing a pretty good job at it, too.”
Dom tilted his head to the side. He was quiet for so long that I was starting to wonder if something was wrong when he spoke again. “I’m glad it came out, you know. Even though it did screw up our skating for a while. I think it would’ve caused us problems in the long run, no matter what.”
I wondered whether he was right. We had made it so long without issues, but by the end, it was getting harder to deny that the chemistry could lead to something else. “I’m sure one of us would have said something eventually. It would’ve been safer if it didn’t come out until we weren’t partners, though.”
He looked taken aback. “That could be a long time from now. One or both of us could’ve been in a serious relationship if we'd ignored it until then. Then we wouldn’t have gotten the chance to really test our chemistry, even if it was just once.”
I took a long drink of water to buy time. “If things were different…” I trailed off. If things were different, it wouldn’t be a problem at all. If our skating relationship weren’t on the line, I would love to give things a shot. But that wasn't our reality.
The intensity of Dom’s gaze made me shift uncomfortably. He was staring as if he could see right through me. “I think we could be great in a different situation. If we didn’t have to worry aboutthe Winter Games or competing, maybe we could give it a shot.” He swallowed hard. “We have to think about our partnership.”
“So what you’re saying is that being partners would put our partnership at risk?” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
Dom’s smile told me my lame joke had done its job. “That’s exactly the problem.”
Thankfully, we were saved any further awkwardness by the arrival of our food. The conversation turned to how good the food was and what we planned on eating when we were done competing for the year. As we laughed, I felt relieved that I didn’t have to navigate the uncertain waters of our feelings right then.
When we had finished for the evening, Dom and I walked to our cars together. The temperature had gone down with the sun and our breath was apparent as white puffs. With my hands in my pockets and my hood pulled up, I clicked the button to unlock my car. As the lights flashed, I looked up at Dom. “I’m glad we got the chance to hang out away from the ice. It’s nice to get to be Dom and Hazel, friends, instead of Dom and Hazel, skating partners.”
“Kick ass skating partners,” Dom corrected with a smile. “Now let’s get in our cars before we freeze out here.”
In my car, I turned the heat up, so it was blasting. I breathed on my hands and rubbed them together, trying to get them to warm up. I buckled myself in and waited for Dom to pull out of the spot next to me. He did with a wave through the window, which I returned before focusing on the heat in my car again. I spent enough time in the cold at the rink. When I wasn’t skating, it just wasn’t worth it to freeze.
Chapter 25
Chapter 25
InthedaysbeforeI had to leave, I laid out the bags I was bringing with me. They were spacious enough, I supposed, but the decision of what to pack overwhelmed me. There was a lot of stuff that I would need directly for competing, from my skates and dresses to an excessive number of tights. Once I left home, anything that I had forgotten could be difficult or impossible to find. It was smartest to pack plenty of extras. Usually duplicates would do, but in my nervousness I had bought an entire second makeup kit and half a dozen extra pairs of the tights I would use during my performance.
The rest was harder to decide on. I would be gone for a long time, but I didn’t know how many of my usual tricks would be helpful. I knew that the buildings the athletes were staying in had been hastily constructed in recent years, specifically for the Games. The construction of so many buildings that would only be occupied for a month had brought heavy criticism from environmental and human rights groups. I had gone down that rabbit hole late one night while scrolling the internet endlessly, thanks to my insomnia. What I didn’t know was what thelaundry situation would be like. Most of the hotels we stayed at during competitions were large chains that had laundry on-site, for a price. I realized that I had no idea if that would be an option this time. If not, would there be a laundromat nearby? Could I even go to one if there was? I knew the city would be overwhelmed with athletes, coaches, and tourists. Things would be hard to find even if they did exist. Plus, there was the safety issue. Ever since my mother had heard that large sporting events were often targeted by human traffickers, she had been paranoid that somebody was going to snatch me up one day. She would hate the idea of me walking around because I hadn’t packed properly.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled one of the few numbers I knew by heart. After a few rings, I heard my mother’s voice. “Hello? Hazel?”
“Hi Mom,” I said. “I’m trying to pack and am struggling not to under or overpack.” My eyes settled on the clothes I had tossed in a steadily growing pile near my pillow. “How much do you think I’m going to need?”
She didn’t answer right away. I wondered if she was surprised that I’d called her for advice. I hadn’t needed tips packing for a competition in years. When she found her voice again, she said, “I’ll be over soon.”
Less than an hour later, there were three sharp knocks on my door. When I opened it, my mother was standing in the hallway with a tote bag over one of her shoulders and a glass dish in her hands. “I made some soup yesterday. I thought we could have some tonight.” She slid off her shoes and handed me the dish as she spoke. She placed her tote bag on the ground and unwrapped her soft plaid scarf from around her slender neck. “I assume your things are in the bedroom.”
After I put the soup in the kitchen, I found her in my bedroom looking over the haphazard piles I had scattered around theroom. “Let’s get everything sorted first. You are going to want to save as much space as you can and to keep things organized. That’s where these come in.” Reaching into her bag, she pulled out the well-loved packing cubes I recognized from my childhood. “We’ll put your skating things in the black ones and your everyday items in the blue.”
It was comfortingly familiar to have her take control of planning the logistics. As I started following her instructions, I asked, “How are Dad and Isaac?”
“Your father is looking forward to taking time off work,” my mother said. She was comparing the sizes of the packing cubes and laying them out near my piles accordingly. “He has been staying late at the office, trying to finish up a couple of projects so he won’t have to be thinking about work or constantly checking his emails when we are watching you.”
My parents had booked the time off ages ago. They had only been watching the other competitions this season on TV to make sure they would have as few work commitments as possible during the Winter Games. I knew that my father especially had been hoarding vacation days so he could take three weeks off in February. “That’s good. Well, he probably isn’t enjoying it now. What about Isaac?”
My mother sighed as she rolled up a long-sleeved t-shirt tightly. “He always seems to be up to something. He and his friends have a game they play in the rec room every other weekend. I can’t follow the rules, but he seems to enjoy it. They can be a bit loud, but they’re mostly good kids. They don’t leave beer cans on the table or chip crumbs everywhere, at least.” The same could not have been said of Levi and his friends back when he was a teenager. Whenever our parents had left him alone at night, without fail he would have people over. He would then have to spend the next morning rushing to pick up the giant mess they’d made, all while he was hungover.
Having my mother tell stories about what the rest of my family or close family friends were doing while keeping my hands busy with mindlessly folding, rolling, and packing helped take my mind off of things. I purposefully asked open-ended questions, knowing that her happiness that I wanted to hear about people would keep her talking for a while.
I listened to my mother’s stories as I packed socks and underwear as compactly as possible in one of the packing cubes. It wasn’t as neat as what my mom was doing, but the state my undergarments would be in when I unpacked was inconsequential. I was only half absorbing everything she was saying when something grabbed my attention.
“Of course, Levi is so excited to be able to come with us. He says that he would have come even if he’d had an exam scheduled, but thankfully it hasn’t come to that. He has been working nearly as hard as your father to get as much done on his term papers as he can now, so he doesn’t feel like he must work on the trip. He and Isaac have been texting about all the ways they can pass the time on the flights over.”
