Chapter 1
Eventhoughitwassummer, I was unprepared for the wave of heat that washed over me when I stepped outside as the sun was rising. It was easy to forget what time of year it was when you spent your life in a freezing arena, but summer weather had come in full force. Most people were focused on pulling out their summer wardrobes after a long winter, planting gardens, and looking forward to going to the beach, but my mind was already on the skating season ahead. It was going to be the biggest competition year of my life. This would be the first time Dom and I had a shot at the Winter Games.
I wasn’t surprised that the roads were dead as I drove to the gym. It was still early enough that most people had yet to leave their houses. If they were really lucky, maybe they were still in bed. I had promised Elodie and Seohyun, two of the other skaters from my rink, that I would meet them for spin class. I was just grateful that I wouldn’t be working out alone.
I hurried into the gym after double-checking that I’d locked my car. Elodie Bergeron and Seohyun Kim were already there, waiting for class to start. They both had the lean bodies ofskaters, but that was where their physical similarities ended. Elodie was tall for a figure skater, although that wasn’t so relevant when nobody was picking you up daily, whereas Seohyun was several inches shorter. Elodie had her blonde hair pulled back in a loose braid, with a few stray strands framing her face. In contrast, Seohyun preferred to slick her black hair back as tightly as possible into a bun that she would secure with a dozen bobby pins. They were rivals in competition, both vying for the same spots on the podium. Outside the rink, they had been a couple for over a year. They did not talk about their relationship publicly, but it had been obvious to me that there was something between them for ages.
“Ready to go?” Elodie asked. She had been Canada’s best bet at a medal in ladies’ singles skating in the previous Winter Games, but her season had been marred by recurrent issues with one of her ankles. While she had made it to the Games, she hadn’t been nearly as consistent with her jumps as normal. It had cost her. She’d been doing everything in her power to make it better in the three years since, obsessively working with a physiotherapist and her doctors to keep the same issue from getting in her way this time. That determination had spilled over into all aspects of preparation. She wasn’t sure that she would be able to keep going for another four years, so she was treating this as her last shot.
We picked three bikes at the back of the class, same as always. All forms of exercise were a drag compared to being on the ice, but being with friends made it easier. Plus, the sooner I got this all over with, the sooner I could leave and move on to things I really enjoyed. That didn’t mean that I didn’t keep glancing at the clock on the wall behind the instructor, willing the minute hand to move faster. I was in amazing shape and had excellent endurance, but I could admit that I wasn’t the most patient person in the world.
When the class was dismissed, I leapt off my seat and chugged some water. “What are you doing this morning?” I asked the other girls.
“Choreography for my free skate,” Seohyun said. She looked much more pulled together than Elodie, whose face had gone very red after the workout.
“She wants to set records for artistry again,” Elodie quipped with a grin and a sidelong glance. “Some of us aren’t graceful enough for that hope.”
“Poor you, needing to rely on jumps,” I said sarcastically. While she had to work much harder at being graceful, Elodie had plenty of other strengths.
“And some of us actually have to skate the whole time and don’t get to relax in the arms of our partner,” Elodie retorted.
I laughed. Relaxing was the last word I would use to describe the positions I had to hold myself in and we all knew it. “You better not talk like that in front of Brandon.”
She scrunched up her nose. “He’s still being an ass about Dom, eh?”
It felt wrong to describe him as being an ass, but I had to admit that it was an apt choice of words. I must have hesitated too long, because they exchanged a look. “He’s still not thrilled about everything, no.” It didn’t sound great, but it was the best I could do without flat-out lying to them.
“He’s not thrilled about everything, or he’s not thrilled about you spending your days with Dominic?” Seohyun asked pointedly.
“He just doesn’t get how much work goes into creating our routines or how much time I need to dedicate to it,” I said. I didn’t know how to truly convey how much of my life skating controlled to somebody who hadn’t witnessed it. Everyone I had ever tried to explain it to had later expressed surprise or frustration about it.
“And I’m sure it has nothing to do with the rumours,” Elodie said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
I squared my shoulders. Rumours about Dom and me had been circulating for years. We were far from the only pair who had been speculated to be a couple, but that rumour swirled around us more than most. “I don’t know exactly what he’s thinking. It might be easier to deal with it all if I did.” By then we had reached my car, which I unlocked with the press of a button. While pulling open the door, I said, “I’ll see you guys at the rink.”
I didn’t let them do more than nod before I slipped into the car and shut the door with a thud. The problem was that I knew exactly what Brandon was thinking. He wasn’t very good at hiding his concerns. And as long as he was sure we wouldn’t be overheard, he wasn’t afraid to voice them either. I was sick and tired of having the same conversation. We would talk around in circles without it going anywhere. The argument always ended with both of us as frustrated and annoyed as we’d been when we'd started. There was no way I was going to go over it again with different people. I’d had enough.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to deal with his attitude in the morning before heading to the rink. We had decided that it was better for us not to spend the night together whenever I started the next day with an early morning skating practice. It had been a simple decision after the reaction he’d had when I brought all my gear to his place.
I had struggled into Brandon’s apartment with a giant duffel bag slung over my shoulder and a bag containing only my figure skates across my body exactly once. The entrance was barely big enough for the door to open fully. The mat was already cluttered with shoes, so there hadn't been a spot for me to put down my bags. I'd had to remove my own shoes with my feet, kicking them towards the wall.
Brandon looked at me incredulously and asked, “Why did you bring so much stuff?”
“I need to head straight to the rink first thing tomorrow,” I’d explained. He hadn't moved and my bags were getting heavy, so I'd turned to squeeze past him. It took a second before I heard his footsteps as he followed me into his room.
He didn't speak, but I could feel his eyes on me. I tried not to feel judged as I pushed my duffel bag into the corner of his bedroom and gently placed the skates on top. He shared his apartment with two roommates, fellow students at the local university. His entire apartment looked like you’d expect guys barely into their twenties to have. The hand-me-down furniture in his room was a tight fit. The bed was so close to the wall that you had to shuffle if you were stuck sleeping on that side. There wasn’t much floor space between the bed, his messy desk, and the dresser. My gear was taking up a good amount of the remaining space, even though I’d done my best to push it as far to the side as possible.
“That’s going to get in the way,” Brandon said, jutting his chin towards the pile.
“Where else do you want me to put it?” I asked, doing my best not to sound frustrated. “Is there any room in the closet?” I already knew the answer.
Brandon shook his head. “Can you leave it in your car? You’re going to trip over it if you get up in the middle of the night.”
"No," I said sharply. The harsh tone came before I had time to think. The idea of leaving my staking gear out there, at risk of being stolen, made my stomach churn. I'd rather sleep in the car myself than leave my skates unattended like that. In an attempt to explain the tone, I added, "The skates alone cost more than your rent." I didn’t point out that, considering the state of his apartment and his two roommates, my skates probably cost many times what he was paying in rent.
“How about in the living room?”
“And get in everybody else's way?” I retorted. I didn’t know his roommates very well. We hadn't done much more than exchange names. I didn’t want to piss them off. Plus, I didn’t trust them or people they might bring home enough to leave them with my most valuable possession.
