“Maybe I was wrong. I’m not sure it’s that simple, not anymore,” he mumbles, his eyes fixed on mymouth.
“And maybe you’re just confused because I was your first, in a way,” I blurt out.
He straightens. “What?”
“It’s natural to form an attachment after you’re … physically intimate with someone for the first time,” I explain awkwardly. “And even though we didn’t actually sleep together, I don’t get the impression you’ve let anyone else … do the things I did to you.”
His jaw snaps shut, and he looks away. “No. I’d never let it get that far before.”
“You’ve said you’re more prone to lustful thoughts than usual around me,” I continue while he slowly backs away. “Now that I understand what sex and intimacy mean to you, it all makes sense. You’re confusing attraction with affection, probably since you’ve never had to differentiate the two before.”
“Yeah. Makes sense,” he says sardonically. “Thanks for clearing that up for me.”
“Rowan,” I begin on a sigh. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“And I didn’t mean to fall for you, but …”
“What?” I breathe, my heart behaving much like it did at the prospect of a home invasion earlier.
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I’m being sarcastic. I just … I feel like an idiot for assuming you … Forget I said anything, please?”
He gazes up at me with wide, watery eyes, and my chest tightens. “Can we just pretend this conversation never happened?” he begs.
“You don’t usually let me off the hook that easily,” I barely manage to say.
He huffs. “You’re right. I don’t.”
“Lucky for you, I’m not into talking about feelings,” I tell him before I push myself off the countertop and land on my feet. “And I’m also pretty grateful for the period mix, so I’ll cut you some slack this time,” I add, gesturing toward the grocery bags.
His expression softens. “Thanks.”
“Are you, um, going to Daisy’s? Or were you planning on crashing here?”
He scratches the back of his head. “I’m sure you’d like your space, right?”
Until he turned the question back to me, I hadn’t realized I was counting on not having to spend the night completely alone. But I certainly can’t admit that to him.
“I’d hate to keep you up past your bedtime with all the wailing and weeping I have left to do. It’s my cycle day one tradition, you know,” I say with a shrug.
“Yeah, can’t think of a sound I’d hate more, even counting the things I hear over atMaisonReed,” he replies dryly. “Good night, Claire. Call me if you need anything else.”
“Good night. Thanks again for all this.”
He nods and skips his usual practice of pulling me in for a hug in lieu of squatting down to pet Frankie and Oscar. And my chin trembles as I watch him walk out the front door.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
rowan
“Mais,gardez donc. If it isn’t my long, lost brother,” Daisy drawls when she opens the door for me.
I sigh. “Hey, Daze. Sorry for springing my presence on you at the last second.”
She moves to let me into their small shotgun house, Juniper shadowing her as usual. “Did Claire kick you out or something?”
“Something like that,” I mutter as I step inside and kiss her cheek. “Where’s your husband?”
“Therapy. He’s usually back by now, but he texted to say his appointment started late,” she explains.
