He looks away, rolling his eyes. “You know that’s not what I’m asking you.”
My stomach does another flip, but not in the same way as the last one. “I haven’t ruled out the possibility of going at it alone.”
It’s not the full truth. I haven’t ruled it out completely, but going through pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood on my own certainly isn’t my aim. Sure, I’d embrace the opportunity if my circumstances ever led me to become a single mom. But as badly as I want those experiences, I can’t imagine purposefully trying to do it all without a supportive partner, at least in the beginning. Which is especially ironic considering my ex-husband wouldn’t have been helpful.
“I may have been homeschooled, but I’m pretty sure they coveredthatin high school bio.” Rowan’s uncharacteristically bitter reply brings me back from my thoughts.
“Ever heard of a sperm bank?” I pose sarcastically, and he shakes his head in disappointment. “For the right price, donors aren’t that hard to find.”
“So once you resolve your infertility issues, you’re just going to choose some stranger out of a catalog to father your children?” He picks up a pencil and begins scribbling in the workbook, but I can tell he’s forcing himself to seem aloof.
“Unless I find someone the old-fashioned way, I suppose.”
“You do realize how ridiculous that sounds when you’ve sworn off marriage, don’t you? Especially since you’ll be raising your kids alone and depriving them of a father figure.”
“What’s it to you, anyway?” I ask, ignoring the guilt his argument has already managed to lodge within my chest.
He slams the pencil down. “Forgive me for looking out for a friend and trying to preserve the sanctity of marriage and family life.”
“Or maybe you’re just jealous because your crazy religious rules are preventing you from doing the same,” I lean in to say haughtily.
“Or maybe,” he begins, staring me down, “this is your way of asking me whether I’d be willing to contribute to your cause.”
My lips part in a gasp. “I’m not … I didn’t?—”
“I want to help you, Claire,” he interrupts me to declare, and I think I might be speechless for the first time in my life. “It’s one of the reasons I’m here, so I could give you better advice.”
I clear my throat. “You mean, you want to help me fix my infertility problems.”
“I owe you a few favors, don’t I?”
“Sure,” I say, my mind still reeling from his last suggestion.
Then he inclines his head and lowers his voice before adding, “But, for the record, my crazy Catholic rules wouldn’t keep me from making a charitable donation, especially if you’d be willing to collect it the old-fashioned way. In fact, that’s actually encouraged.”
“It is?” I choke out, and one side of his mouth curls up in acrooked smirk so sexy I’m tempted to rob him of a contribution on the spot.
“Yep. Didn’t you hear Tenley? We’re huge fans of that whole ‘open to life’ mentality for married couples,” he drawls as he picks up the pencil and uses it to tap my left ring finger. He shifts his attention back to the charting activity after that, as if he hasn’t just stunned me by extending both an indecent proposition and a marriage proposal in the last few seconds.
“Does anyone need more time?” Tenley asks while I struggle to form an appropriate response to Dangerous Rowan’s first public appearance in Camellia.
But what in the hell am I supposed to say after that? I didn’t even come here with the intention of learning about the family-planning side of things, yet here I am, shopping for a baby daddy and reconsidering my budget.
You cannot make him a counteroffer, I tell myself, especially since there’s no guarantee I could make a baby at all. But I still give in to the urge to pretend it’s possible, just for a second.
My gaze runs over the specimen beside me. Broad shoulders, crystal blue eyes, gorgeous blond hair, great teeth, and the most adorable set of dimples I’ve ever seen … decent height, good muscle tone, amazing collar bones, not to mention the high IQ and the slutty little glasses he wears before bed …
Maybe the imperfect vision should count against him, regardless of how good he looks in those glasses. But aside from the nearsightedness and the peanut allergy, Rowan is undeniably a genetic jackpot. I’d be insane not to take advantage of an offer from him, even if it meant going at it alone.
It’s too bad I can’t haggle him into making one of those contributions outside of a serious relationship or even marriage, and I’m not going to let him risk either with me, not with my poor track record. But even if he were willing to overlook my low customer reviews, Rowan would never forgo the chance to have a traditional family much less agree to waive his responsibilities as a father … or a partner.
Dammit. That only makes him a million times more attractive.
“Claire, are you done?” I flinch when Tenley calls me back again.
“Yeah. Think I might need to add one of those little hearts to my chart after this, though,” I mutter, making Rowan’s lips twitch in amusement. It turns into a chuckle when I swat his arm.
“You’re not allowed to flirt this hard,” I grumble after another warning glare from Tenley.
