It’s fine, I didn’t need that porch light, anyway. I bought myself one of those fancy headlamps like yours. Figured it would come in handy one day.
Claire
Go away, Rowan.
Don’t make me call the deputy on you.
Rowan
I can’t. Not until you let me apologize.
And for the record, you’re so much scarier than Deputy Godchaux.
Claire
Aren’t you worried someone might see your truck here and assume the worst?
Rowan
Missed Call – Rowan LaFleur
I’ll sleep outside if you don’t let me in.
Claire
Suit yourself. Comfort is a gateway drug, after all, and I’d hate to contribute any more towards your moral collapse.
Rowan
Fair enough.
Good night, Claire. I’ll see you in the morning.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
claire
I tightenmy robe around me and narrow my eyes at the faded pickup parked in my driveway. Frankie bounds excitedly down the front porch steps when he sees it, tripping over his own ears, and my smile widens when he trots over to pee on one of Rowan’s tires.
“That’s Mama’s good boy,” I coo and scratch his roundpansewhen he returns, prompting Oscar to lift his own leg over the rim before returning to collect his belly-rub reward.
Rising onto my tiptoes, I lift my chin to peer into the truck cab. But I can barely see inside with all the ice coating the windshield. I have to pretend I’m checking on one of the plants Daisy gave me the other day to catch a glimpse of Rowan’s bundled form. He looks like he’s wearing the same jacket from the night the pipes busted, as well as an orange hunting beanie and a pair of camo gloves. He coughs a few times, and it’s actually cold enough to see his breath in the air.
Oscar looks at me strangely when I let out a frustrated groan. I shouldn’t be giving in so easily, I know. But I also hate staying mad at someone or letting them stay angry with me. And the sight of this man sleeping out in the cold just for the chance to apologize in person does funny things to my heart, especially since I wasn’t on the receiving end of many apologies in my last relationship.
Okay, practically everything Rowan-related does funny things to my heart, but I’m choosing to ignore that at the moment.
Then again, I should just forgive Rowan and move on, because holding on to my anger would be tantamount to admitting I care enough to let him hurt me that deeply. If I let him plead his case now, I can pretend I wasn’t devastated to learn that I’ve been baring my soul to a man who couldn’t trust me with the truth, who held back on sharing the most basic elements of himself because he saw me as nothing more than a passing temptation. And I may not be the best human on the planet, but I know I deserve better than a hypocrite who only wants me when his pristine reputation isn’t on the line.
It’s just so hard to reconcile that guy with the one I thought I knew, the man who begged me for more than one night together, who couldn’t deliver a pickup line without blushing, who gave me his underwear when my dress ripped, and who wouldn’t kiss me until he was certain he’d earned it—the Rowan who wanted to take turns listening to me talk and making love to me all night because I was his soulmate.
But I knew he was too good to be true.
Despite being the only person who’s ever made me feel safe and understood, Rowan LaFleur isn’t the man I thought he was.
At least I figured it out early this time, before I let him talk me into molding my life around his for the next decade or so. Just in time to pull off the lie that none of this hurts me as much as it does.
I slip back inside and crack open the blinds before settling down with my cup of coffee and my phone. If I’m going to downplay this whole thing, I might as well have some fun while I’m at it.
