Landry clears his throat. “Uh, yeah. I think there’s some in the back of the freezer. Want me to cook some rice?”
“That’ll work,” Rowan replies as he continues gathering ingredients. “Canned red beans and rice won’t get me that Michelin Star, but it’ll fill our bellies, right?” He glances my way, as if he’s looking for my approval.
“Sounds fine to me, as long as you don’t skimp on the sausage,” I quip, earning a giggle from Daisy. Rowan presses his lips together, stifling a smile, and Landry nudges him when they cross paths.
“You heard that, man? She wants your?—”
“Yeah, I got it, Lan,” Rowan says dryly.
“You guys need to get your minds out of the gutter,” I begin. “I wasn’t referring to anyone’s sausage, specifically …”
But my argument falls flat when my eyes skim the pack of meat labeled as “Rowan’s Deer Sausage” with a date from this past November. Of course he’s a good hunter, too.
Rowan clears his throat. “I have a few more packs in the freezer back home. I’ll bring some next time I’m in town.”
“Yeah, sure. Call before you come,” I mumble, making the others laugh, and my insides warm when Rowan and I lock eyes for a second.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
claire
I domy best to keep my facial expressions in check after that, and before long we’re all seated at the table together. It’s admittedly been a while since I’ve had dinner with friends like this, and although I felt a bit slighted by Rowan’s evasiveness earlier, I’m not willing to risk ruining everyone’s night by calling him out. Instead, I resolve to enjoy the company while I can, especially once the conversation shifts to Daisy and Rowan’s huge family.
“And what’s a consecrated sister again?” I ask in reference to their sister, Rosemary.
“One step away from a nun. It’s basically like she’s married to Jesus,” Daisy replies in between bites of food. “Her vows weren’t all that different from the ones a married couple or a priest takes.”
“Oh,” I say thoughtfully. “I never thought of it that way.”
“Most people don’t, but it’s similar to a sacramental marriage, except their version of chastity means abstaining all together,” she explains.
“So how is being a priest like being married?” I continue.
“A priest is married to the Church. He serves as a father to his congregation, which is one of the reasons behind the vow of celibacy. If he had a wife and children, then he’d naturally want to prioritize those responsibilities over his vocation as a priest.”
“Interesting.” I turn to Rowan. “And you’ve never thought about becoming a priest?”
He forces a smile. “Of course. I just never felt like it was the vocation God had in mind for me,” he replies, mirroring what Daisy said earlier.
“What if you never get married? Can you just decide to be a priest then?” I ask, watching his reaction carefully.
He shrugs and lifts his glass, looking slightly uncomfortable. “Sure, but only if I hear that call later in life. It’s not the kind of thing I’d do because I ran out of options.”
“But what about the vows? What if it’s too late for the whole celibacy thing?”
Rowan chokes and begins coughing loudly and slapping himself on the chest.
“You okay?” Daisy asks.
“Yeah, sorry,” he wheezes before taking a drink and adding, “Went down wrong.”
“That’s not what you said last time,” I mutter just low enough for him to hear. He glares at me before he yanks at his collar and coughs again, and I lean back in my chair with a smug smile, quite satisfied with the effect I’m having on him.
Until the very moment all of the pieces fall into place, that is.
I blink down at the table, feeling a flush crawl up my neck and face again as I think back on some of the things Rowan said to me that night.
“I don’t usually talk like this, or act like this … You said it’s just sex, but it’s still going to mean something to me … I’ve never done this before … You’ll never understand what you took from me tonight …”
