I’m not hearing you say this in the right tone, am I?
Claire
Kiss my ass, Athanasius.
Rowan
Ah, gotcha.
So, um, sorry? I guess the robe was a miscalculation on my part. I honestly thought you’d take it as both a compliment and an inside joke, and I even pictured you opening it up and immediately having one of your big laughs.
Claire
How in the hell did you expect me to interpret this as a compliment?
Rowan
It was supposed to say, “I know I’ve been a screw up, and I’m banking on needing your help again,” and “I can’t be trusted to keep my eyes and my hands to myself around you.”
I also know you like to wear pretty things to bed, so I asked a saleswoman to help me find something that was modest enough for drinking coffee outside but still feminine and flattering.
And the design and the colors reminded me of your tattoos.
Claire
You went shopping in person and had this delivered to my house?
Rowan
Maybe.
Claire
I didn’t even think people did that anymore.
Rowan
Okay, yeah ... I think I’m hearing how creepy this whole thing sounds now.
I’m sorry. You’re right, this was really inappropriate. And you should probably just throw it out, since you don’t need another reminder of my stupidity.
Claire
It is a very lovely robe, though.
You didn’t spend a fortune on it, did you?
Rowan
It was a gift. All that matters is how it makes you feel.
Claire
Well, now that I’m wearing it, I have to say … it does make me feel pretty.
Rowan
I’m glad. If the robe could talk, I’m sure it would say the same.
