He huffs into his hands as soon as he’s inside, so I reachout to turn up the heat. The temperature has dropped a few degrees since our adventure began, and I’m already starting to regret not changing out of my cap-sleeved jumpsuit or at least grabbing a jacket before allowing those blue lights to lure me outside.
“Good thing I switched on the heater before I left home,” I mumble to myself.
“Wish I could say the same for my truck. But I guess this is when you tell me remote start would come in handy, right?” He shoots me a grin as I pull out of the driveway.
I furrow my brow. “You don’t have to fish for an invitation. I’m not heartless enough to make you sleep in your truck.”
His eyes widen in what seems to be genuine surprise. “Oh, um, I wasn’t … I didn’t think …”
I scoff. “I don’t know whether I should be more offended because you thought I’d really leave you out in the cold or because you’re afraid I’ll seduce you again if you come inside.”
He’s silent, and the fact that he doesn’t bother refuting my claim makes me want to shrink back into myself.
“Don’t worry, I get it. You can’t help wondering what you missed out on, but you’re not willing to stoop to my level again,” I mutter after a while. “I’m done with trying to please men who think they’re better than me, though, so you’re in the clear. This is just another act of charity on your sister’s behalf.”
I’m determined not to give him the satisfaction of glancing his way as I drive up to my house and throw the car in park. But Rowan’s hand encircles my wrist before I can make my escape, holding me in place.
“Claire,” he begins, his voice pained, and I break. He waits until I turn to look at him before he continues. “I’m not going to act like your assumptions are completely unfounded, but I swear, they’re wrong. I really am grateful for your kindness, and I’m sorry, again, for taking out my frustration on you. The truth is I am much more concerned about my own lack of self-control, since there’s apparently something about you that makes me forget who I am. And I can’t afford to push my luckright now.”
“So that’s why you seem so upset about getting stuck with me again? It’s more complicated now that I’m Daisy’s friend and not just some stranger?” I tug my arm back, and his frown deepens.
“It’s definitely complicated, but not exactly for the reasons you’d think.” He pauses and swallows hard before he starts again. “You’re a beautiful woman, Claire, and you’re easy to like. But as much as I wish our circumstances were different, you were right before. Ignoring the fact that we want totally different things wouldn’t be fair to either of us. The problem is that I’ve never had so much trouble walking away from anyone before, especially when we weren’t on the same page.”
He lets out a tired exhale, hesitating as if he’s unsure about what he wants to say next. “I thought I’d gotten pretty good at turning off that other part of my brain, too, but I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m with you. And even though I appreciate it, it doesn’t help when you keep rescuing me like this, reminding me of everything I can’t have.”
My jaw lowers in surprise, and a shiver runs through me. I’ve never been told I’m easy to like, much less that I’m a danger to someone’s self-control, at least not in the way he means. And those feelings he’s describing aren’t one-sided.
If only he didn’t seem so disappointed about liking me as much as he does, even to the point where he’s afraid to acknowledge me in front of his friends and family.
“So what do you want from me, Rowan?” I choke out.
His eyes dart down to my mouth, and my whole body warms at the possibility of him leaning in to kiss me. I hold my breath when he licks his lips and brings his gaze up to mine.
“I don’t know,” he admits, his hand inching closer until his fingertips twist into my sleeve, holding me firmly in place. I watch as he extends his pinky to graze one of the red orchids of my tattoo, causing goosebumps to line my skin, and his eyelids lower when he senses the effect it has on me. But the boutonniere on his tuxedo jacket scrapes against my seat when he leans in, reminding me of the way he acted around me at his sister’s wedding earlier.
“I need to hear you say it first,” I mumble, testing him.
“You, Claire. I want you,” he rasps, and I falter for a second before I tell myself that he’s only toying with me.
It’s hard to imagine Rowan as the kind of guy that uses women, though, especially when he’s already turned down an offer for no-strings-attached sex. He wouldn’t need to work this hard if that were all he was after, not when I keep making it so easy for him.
I lower my chin to tease him again, and he tilts his head to the side, waiting for my cue. He won’t even kiss me if he doesn’t think he deserves it. Because he’s a true gentleman, like an old classic pickup on a highway full of trendy hybrid cars and push-button EVs. He’s never going to indulge in a casual hookup with me because he’s only looking for the real thing.
It’s also why his attraction to me leaves him equally confused and irked. And while I can’t deny how much I enjoy his attention, I can’t risk losing myself to another man who’d only be settling with me.
“Are you sure I’m what you want?” I ask, pulling away the slightest bit, and he straightens in his seat when he finally senses my hesitation. “Because you’re not all that convincing.”
He lets go of me and turns away, clenching his jaw. And I wish it wasn’t so sexy.
“Besides, you haven’t really done anything to earn it yet,” I add, unable to disguise my sarcasm.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters after a while. “The exhaustion must be getting to me.”
“Then we’d better get you to bed, since we both know your inhibitions are lowered when you’re tired,” I reply dryly before I get out of the car.
Rowan follows me to the front door, still seething, and I pretend I’m immune to the tension lingering between us while I sift through my purse for my house keys. I’m almost certain I’ve convinced him of my indifference when I remember I don’t even have a damned house key. Turning my body slightly, I block his view of the keypad so I can punch the numbers in private. It’s too bad I also seem to have forgotten the actual code.
The keypad turns red and scolds me with three loud beeps, and my face heats as I mumble some kind of excuse about changing the locks after my ex moved out. But Rowan has the good sense not to say anything, even when I have to use the app on my phone to unlock the door.
