“I don’t care about your divorce,” he rasps. “I just want … you.”
I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head. “That’s not what we agreed to.”
“Claire, tell me you feel this? I’m not crazy. We’re meant for more than one night, aren’t we?” I want to agree with every fiber of my being, especially after he begins kissing my neck, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
“I’m sorry. I’m not ready for the kind of relationship you want, and I don’t know if I ever will be,” I choke out.
He groans, but he keeps going. “How am I supposed to function without you after this? I’ll never find anyone who tastes as good as you do,” he says, stopping to drag his tongue over the sensitive skinbelow my ear. “Or who sounds as sexy as you do,” he adds when I let out a quiet moan. “Who makes me feel this good, or who makes my pulse speed up the way you do.”
He backs away just long enough to bring my hand down to his left pec, where his heart thumps violently within his chest. “Please, don’t break my heart,” he begs breathlessly.
“You don’t understand. I can’t give you what you want,” I reply, my voice trembling.
“I won’t push you for anything serious until you’re ready,” he continues, ignoring my protest. “But I have to see you again.”
I shake my head and lean in to kiss him before he makes me cry again. But he pulls away after a while.
“We can take it slow and keep it casual for now. All I’m asking for is the chance to make you feel wanted and needed and desired. I’ll even wear my slutty little glasses to bed for you,” he offers with a coy smile. “I’ll take some extra allergy meds and eat a peanut butter sandwich if I have to.”
I heave out a sigh, because all of that sounds absolutely amazing, apart from giving him another allergic reaction. “I would choose you if I could. But I can’t,” I repeat, my voice cracking as I reach up to stroke his cheek. The short growth over his jaw scrapes my palm, making him even sexier. “You deserve more, and this is all I can give you for now.”
“For now?”
I whimper when I realize I’ve given him false hope again. “Rowan, I’m a complete mess. What more do you want from me? I still have to finalize my divorce, and?—”
“Wait, what?” He rears back and drops his hands abruptly. “Your divorce isn’t final yet?”
“I mean, my marriage has long been over, and we’ve been living apart for over six months. Not to mention, he practically moved straight into his new girlfriend’s house?—”
“But you’re still married.” The words come out with a growl, and I barely hold back a flinch when I see his jaw ticking.
“All that’s left to do is show up to the hearing this Tuesday andget the judge’s signature. But, yes, technically, I am still legally married for the next seventy-two hours or so,” I admit quietly, gathering the blankets around me to cover myself.
He frowns and nods solemnly. “Thank you for being so upfront and honest with me.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Are you being sarcastic right now?”
“I’m not sure,” he breathes. He may be looking at me, but his gaze is distant now. “I’m sorry. I … I have to go.”
He rolls out of bed and begins gathering his clothes from around the room, and I clutch the duvet tightly to my chest.
“Wait, I’m sorry. I really didn’t think?—”
“Thank you for taking care of me earlier and for the, um,” he pauses to clear his throat as he slips his scapular necklace over his head, “the company, I guess.”
My eyes sting as I watch him redress. “It’s not like I purposefully lied about my divorce. And you and I aren’t having an affair or anything, all right?”
He finishes buttoning his shirt and finally glances back at me. “Were you married in church?”
I shake my head. “We didn’t even have a real wedding. I barely managed to drag him to the courthouse.”
He lets out a relieved exhale before he turns to slip on his shoes. “Still, you made vows, even if he never intended to uphold his,” he reminds me, and my chest feels tight.
“I guess this makes it easier for you to forget all about me then,” I mumble once my sense of self-preservation finally kicks in.
“I don’t think that’s possible. You’ll never understand what you took from me tonight.”
He practically knocks the wind out of me with that blow. “Wow. Is this all part of that gratitude you felt after I saved your life?”
